Little Moments of Light

Christmas

 My cousin texted me something that I held close this year ~ 

'My heart is heavy for this situation but it feels true ~ the deep desperation for hope, for Jesus. I can't stand a bright shiny Christmas where it feels like the joy is just a mirage.'

So often in families, there are deep undercurrents of 'things' that can attempt to surface at holidays when everyone comes together hoping for connection, kindness, joy, healing etc. The Christmas glitter is often just on the surface and underneath there is exhaustion, the wish for something different or more, disappointment, hurt and the list goes on.

This year I tried to really ready my heart for whatever might come. There are always so many unknowns. In the end, Christmas was really beautiful for me, not perfect no, but beautiful? So much so. And my joy was not a mirage because I could put aside what needed to be put aside and be in the moment. I have not been able to do that often. Jesus did bring hope to the world and He gives it freely still. I felt that. 

I hope your Christmas held bright moments of hope too (even in the midst of everything else trying to steal any light possible). I hope you smiled, felt moments of safety, or just felt thankful for joy you saw on someone else's face. 

May you be blessed

These photos are from a friend's home mostly. The way she decorates reminded me of the essence of our traditions here or things that we hold dear. The last photos are taken on Christmas morning. We had some intensely cold weather and a large snowfall, then freezing rain then torrential rain. It made for quite a Christmas.

A Tradition That I Cling To

  That very first year that I was married my husband was excited about celebrating his first Christmas. We went into the forest and cut down a little Charlie Brown tree and had a few decorations on it. We didn't have a Christmas tree base and never thought about water and just tied our tree to the wall and it quickly passed away. By Christmas, our tree was without needles and we took it away. We needed a new tree and had been told that going into the forest and cutting a tree was not legal! Whoops!

   It was seven at night, there was a wind storm, but we decided to go find a tree! We looked in the newspaper and found a tree farm which we called from our landline. They answered and said they were open any time. So we went through town, past a lake, up into the mountains as tree branches fell across the road and the wind was wild. As our vehicle pulled in someone came out to greet us warning us of dangers. We were so young nothing felt impossible. We went out, picked our tree, cut it down and someone baled it for us amongst the wind storm. They then invited us into their home for hot chocolate. The tree farm was owned by a large extended family. We hung out with grandma, cousins, parents, and siblings, and had our hot chocolate, then headed home unscathed and also very blessed. We have never gone to another tree farm; it has always been the same one from that moment on.

   Each year we pack everyone up, drive through town, past a lake, and up into the mountains to get our tree. Sometimes it is pouring rain, sometimes it is snowing, but it had never been as windy again. Each time we go there grandma has been there to bale the tree or hand out a candy cane. The small apple orchard still has a few apples clinging to bare branches, and the surrounding mountains are close and calming. It is beautiful. Having children there usually means someone cries at some point. Sometimes I've had to stay in the vehicle with a sleeping baby. As the years have gone on the trees have gotten a lot bigger (we will be going there for twenty years in 2023), and new trees have been planted.

   Traditions mean a lot to me. Now that our oldest does not live at home I feel like traditions that have been are going to change and I am dreading it. So this year felt like such a precious gift as we all headed up there together. I was just so thankful.

I am so grateful for all of this. So so grateful for these memories. May they always be with me, in me, around me.