He Holds You

   While I was washing dishes today I was listening to a song by the band Leeland. They were singing about being carried and a couple of their songs are about that. Last night my little six year old was wanting to be carried to bed and my husband said sometimes he wished there was someone strong enough to just scoop him up and carry him. I so know that feeling. I have such a clear memory of when I was probably six and being in church and seeing one of my friends (the baby of that family) being scooped up in her dad's arms and held during the service. I knew I sure wouldn't be. I was the oldest in the family there were others who needed holding and who knows when I had been carried last. I just remember looking at her and feeling that wistfulness...because I could imagine how safe and loved she must feel in those arms of her daddy. If we really think about it ~ that longing never really goes away does it? We might push it down and pretend we don't need it....but we always did and we always do. We were all carried once.

   Maybe your mother carried you carelessly or bitterly or lovingly and preciously. Maybe your coming was a surprise, a dread, or a desperately wanted gift...but regardless your mother carried you in her womb so you were carried. Her body gave you what it could. When you were born arms had to carry you to and fro because you could not walk. We began by being carried. Our bodies formed while being carried. No wonder so deep inside us is this wish to be carried and to feel cocooned and safe.

  The ways we can be carried change as we grow. There is a last time that your mother scooped you up and held you for comfort or your dad scooped you up to say hello. There was a very last time and maybe you dont remember it. Why would you? You might have been quite young. However maybe there were other times where you were 'carried'. You came home from school crying and your mom listened with empathy or maybe your dad stood up for you when you needed it. As an adult your spouse, your friends, the loves in your life ~ they carry you when they can, how they can, and when we see it for it what it is ~ it can give us a glimpse of that safe lovely feeling we felt before.

  That sad part is is that some of us were never carried gently or carried well. Some of us feel scared even in the safest arms. There is opportunity to look up and trust that you are always held in the safest arms even when it feels like you are falling. I am trying to, I have tried to, I AM feeling carried. I just need to remember that I am safe in God's arms. He holds me well. He holds me safely. He holds me perfectly. And he holds you.
xo