I have been thinking about different things lately like joining Instagram and assessing my internet addiction and how it is doing right now....Also about the fact that joining Instagram has made me realize just how many things I have that I adore (and want to take pictures of) and how many of those things are from friends. I am so blessed. I have also thought about how I have a sense of decorating style and where that has come from and who has influenced it. And then this came up! My husband was talking about a motivational speaker he had been listening to the other day and he mentioned that you become like the five people you hang out the most with. I was sort of going over different conversations I had been having lately with people, how I am relating to people...and I realized I am hanging out with four children almost 24/7. Then my husband and sister come home and need me to listen to them talk about their day. All of this company is good. However I am realizing my listening skills are really starting to degenerate and that is because I am not being listened to all that much. My kids tend to tune me out so I speak loudly. I am interrupted over and over as I talk to them, I repeat myself so many times a day because they do not listen and I am falling into a victim mentality more often than not again. Taking time for self reflection has not been a focus. I have been overwhelmed with the end of school year stress as it was pretty intense this year. The children are done school but I still have multiple meetings for some of the children. I often feel alone in my parenting as my husband is pretty hands off during the week. His work is very intense and stressful and he doesn't have a lot of energy or time to help me with meetings, homeschool etc.
All of this to say that I feel sad that I have become complacent and am feeling such a deep need to be heard. If you talk to me and I am talking loudly, repeating myself or making life about me me me, well now you know why. It is ridiculous but it is true...you become like who you hang out with. You just can't help it. And right now I hang out with four children ranging in ages from twelve to two every day. It is going to be that way for a long time. So hopefully I can find a better balance soon.
I hope you have a lovely week. For most people where I live it is their children's last week of school and then it is summer break. That means eight weeks or so of no school. Many people plan holidays and all sorts of fun doings for their children. For others like us it will mean happy simple days at home.
Love Tansy
No comments:
Post a Comment