October is an absolutely stunning month where I live. The leaves turn the most vivid hues of scarlett and tangerine and gold and the greens are dusky and deep. The skies can be the most vibrant blues and the sun warm but the wind cold, or the skies are scudding clouds and rain pours down. It's a volatile month of wonder and wondering if coats are needed and feeling house bound and listening to the wind.
We just celebrated a birthday here yesterday. My daughter turns fifteen this week and her party was yesterday. It was a wet day and we were inside. We had ten extra people upstairs in the house and it was such a happy time. We tie dyed shirts and ate together. Celebrating with others is such a beautiful opportunity and it is also potentially a lot of work and kindness and effort sewn together. For this birthday I made two cakes. They both were chocolate but one was gluten free and one was not. My oldest daughter helped me make a chocolate mousse for the filling and I made a chocolate icing for the top. It was simple and flavourful and delicious but it also felt like a lot of work which must be why I felt like I needed to mention it. The choice to tie dye was reminiscent of my daughter when she was younger. Her style was all her own and often she wore tie dye. Now she prefers loose t shirts, jeans, runners and keeps things a bit more blah as maybe the world and its opinions has taken its toll as it so often does.
Remembering back to my labor with her (she was my second biological child) is very happy for me. I was actually in labor all the day before she was born but told myself repeatedly that it was just Braxton hicks. She was almost two weeks early. It was a very long day as I had a three hour doctors appointment with my oldest son and had to run up and down the room with him. The doctor questioned me if I was maybe in labor and I said no! I woke up sometime in the night realizing the contractions were still happening and realized I must be in labor. I eventually ended up going to the hospital and she was born in the afternoon. My birth experience with her was so vastly different than my first birth experience. It was not without trauma but honestly the amount of support and kindness I had during the birth mitigated the trauma so much that I never think of that when I think about birthing her. I remember the woman gathered around me that comforted me and held me and stayed with me through emergency surgery and other moments of panic. I had maybe never felt so loved in that way before. It changed me.
So as October 2025 fills your soul or excavates it. As the days march along and the weather here is moody and beauty and we start to cozy in, I hope that you have experiences like that that you can reflect on and in a sense, relive.
There are precious precious gifts in memories that we may not take time to treasure. I can remember how my daughter cuddled up on my chest after she was born and how filled with wonder I was. I can remember the drive to the hospital with the midwife and how kind and amazed she was at my peace during the contractions. I remember the vibrance of the grass and leaves as I walked and walked around the little pond at the hospital to keep contractions going, and I remember the absolute shock at my bodies reaction when my water was broken and my little girls started to shoot out of my body without my needing to push at all! I may not always have this gift of remembering as I age. I pray that I do. I want to appreciate it in all its fullness. Oh the blessings I have received for the last fifteen Octobers in having this child in my life.
Thankyou
