Dawn

   My house is filled with golden light. The wood paneled walls look warm and illuminated. I am so thankful for natural light. Today it gives me strength and hope. Last night the wind screamed around our home. I lay awake terrified. It was weird because I have not felt like that for a long time but I was so scared. It howled and screamed and crashed and I think I was worried a tree was going to fall on our house or just something bad was going to happen. The baby was up crying and could not seem to swallow properly. I could not see sores in his mouth and so I am assuming his throat is sore. My little six year old was up because of the wind and because she is getting a cold sore, and then at around three in the morning (I had already been up since at least two but not really gotten sleep before that either) my nine year old started vomiting. The first night we moved in this house the vomiting started with my six year old and through the weeks we have been here everyone but the baby and I and my sister have vomited. I have fought it tooth and nail but have still been sick (I just dont throw up easily) but no one was as sick as my son is right now in that department. His dad was carrying him to the bathroom as he couldn't make it there himself and I have been doing laundry and doing laundry and now the dark of night is gone. He is still so sick but the vomiting has subsided in intensity so he can rest for longer stretches. The baby seems to be in not as much pain and my parents are coming with groceries because my fridge is pretty empty and I no flue fighting hydrating supplies. This is the reality of being a mother and the more harsher reality. However I am so thankful today that it is not pouring rain. The sun is shining, the snow is being blown around shimmering and whirling in the light. A far off weeping willow tree dances in the wind and tall old trees bow in honor of the power of the wind but stand strong, roots buried deep. I want roots buried deep. I will not let everything that is howling around us right now physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally to break me. I will bend yes, my shoulders hunched, my eyes red with tiredness but I have weathered far stronger storms and onwards and upwards I will go forward today.
I hope you have a lovely day
xo