Last night I went to the mall to get someone a gift. They are getting married in a couple weeks and there is a wedding shower for them. I went to the mall with some vague ideas in my mind of what to get them...but they are not registered anywhere and I didn't know what exactly they needed....so I wandered around and decided....I would get them some stuff to support their sex life.
Lets be honest....when you are 'in love' all you want to do with your love is be close and as close as possible. The stuff coursing through your veins every time you are with your love is heady and amazing and incomparable to a lot of the rest of life.
Ideologies and morals has changed in so many ways in the last decades and now for many it is common to sleep with another someone or many someones before you get married. Usually though when you get married it is still quite traditional to share your body with that one person only. In my family we teach our children to save their bodies for that one person. There are so.many.reasons.why!!!! I feel strongly about this. I think more and more this intimacy is being stomped on and abused and children are being fed lies that being experienced is best that sharing their bodies with others is okay. I just do not agree at all...I think that sex is the most intimacy you can ever experience with a person. I think that when you have sex with someone your soul joins with theirs in that moment whether you want it to or not. You are one with that person physically and something is created that has to broken by choice. A piece of yourself is with that person.
I say this because I remember back to dating...that first comes love... When I did date I was careful with my body. When I was engaged I'm sorry but to be honest I loved to make out with my now husband. It was great. I wanted to do that all the time but we saved sex for our wedding night and I am glad we did. I don't regret that for a moment.
Fast forward to now..the then comes marriage...yup that happened but then...then comes a baby in the baby carriage and in our case four babies...and love becomes a very big choice and intimacy also becomes a choice because as a mom and wife your body is pulled in so many directions. That time of dating and young love is so precious and lovely to look back on.
Why say all this....because I was thinking about....
Foundations.
Foundations in so many areas of marriage is vital but the foundation you have in your sex life with your partner can be one of the most important of all because it will be a big part of the glue that holds your relationship together. Sex is worth working on and investing into because staying intimate is vital.
So instead of cute bowls or cups or towels (that are also very important) I got them a really great book on sex in case there is anything they need to know. I also got them a book on the Five Love Languages because that is also really helpful...the more loved, appreciated and known you feel the more available you are to intimacy right? I got some really pretty lingerie for the bride cause most of the time those little details count. Thought I'd share those thoughts with myself for the future to remind myself and so they are here for you as well.
Have a happy Thanksgiving weekend :)
Love Tansy
Thank you for reminding a new mother about the foundations that are worth having and building upon!!! This was a really honest and needed post!
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