When I was thirteen I was invited to go camping with a family to an island called Hornby Island. It was notorious for being inhabited by hippies and free thinkers and artists. One of the strict instructions I was given by my father was to NOT go to the nude beach that was there.
I went with a friend and her foster parents. The foster parents went every year with their extended family. They had older daughters who were older teenagers at the time ~ basically young adults.
I have SO MANY memories from this trip. It felt like a sort of coming of age trip. The girl I went with was younger than I was but wise to the world. She was so sweet and the family we were with was phenomenal. I was a very sheltered child in many ways and also was very wanting to obey my parents and make them proud. However on this trip I decided to make some of my own choices that I do not regret and that impacted me deeply.
We stayed at a campground high up on a cliff. I remember looking down onto the water one night and seeing eerie lights in the water. There were divers (a couple on a honeymoon) scuba diving in the dark with lights. It looked so cool! This sweet couple were sleeping in tent surrounded by many other tents and I remember they were badly sunburned and I thought that this did not seem like my ideal honeymoon :)
At this camp ground there were fresh croissants brought in every morning by someone and you lined up at the little store to try to get one. I had not eaten croissants before, much less warm fresh ones, the flakey buttery experience I have never forgotten.
My friend's foster aunt and uncle were staying on their boat there and we were allowed to sleep in the boat one night! This was a first for me as well. That night we sat on the dock and swirled sticks through the water experiencing the magic of phosphorescence. It was unearthly and deeply beautiful.
Every day was warm and lovely and the first beach day my friend and I dutifully went to the not nude beach beside the nude beach. Her whole family always went to the nude beach. However the not nude beach was packed with many people and because we were young we had not gone to a beach alone before. It made me anxious and so I decided the next day I was going to go to the nude beach! This was direct defiance to my dad but somehow it didn't feel wrong.
My nude beach experience ended up impacting me for the rest of my life. We went to the beach on a beautiful day and there were many people there. I didn't feel in any way that it was unnatural or wrong to be there. I chose to wear my bathing suit. It was funny to see people playing volleyball naked I have to admit. And there were creepy older men being somewhat inappropriate but we were with my friend's whole family and they were veteran nudists :) We were totally safe and comfortable. It was a sandy beautiful stunning beach. We had a really lovely time. The next day however was the most memorable.
We went to the beach again but it was a more moody cooler day. There were not many people there and my friend and I were sitting up in the vehicle staying warm. I looked down and there was a woman dancing along the shore line naked. You could just SEE that she felt winsome and free and full of joy. I was struck with such a clear thought that I had not felt that way, maybe ever, but I so wanted to. I never forgot her.
There was a beautiful house you could see from the shoreline and it reminded me of a favourite movie and a place in it called the White Sands Hotel. It didn't look like the White Sands Hotel but it had the same feel and it was right up above the Ocean on a bluff. I wished I could stay there.
Years later I was pregnant with my son and my friend invited me to go to Hornby Island with her and a few other friends. We went. After we settled into the house she told us we were right up above the nude beach. It was early in the year so no one would actually be at the beach. When we went down to the beach I looked up and realized I was staying in the house I had seen all those years before. It was such an amazing moment. The whole trip ended up being so full of light. I meandered through the most whimsical pottery houses. I bought the most beautiful spring bouquet off the side of the road. I went to a free store and found treasures for my family. I ate delicious food and my friend took some photos of myself that I find to be some of the most true reflections of who I am. I was so happy, so at peace, and I could hear the Ocean waves as I fell asleep. I will never forget that time with friends and the peace and happiness I felt there.
We went to an orchard at sunset bursting with Spring blossoms. There were driftwood houses built all through it for people to stay in and we accessed it through a meandering forest path. The ocean was right at its doorstep. This felt like a piece of the garden of Eden.
We also walked along some cliffs that reminded me of Ireland. The wind whipped our hair and felt crisp and fresh and full of LIFE. We had the best time there.
I admit that there have been a few times I have tried to move to an island. I have wanted to live closer to the ocean air and be able to spend hours at the beach looking for treasure with my children. I have longed for the feeling of connecting with my truest self that I find when I am there at the ocean and also the peace I feel. I live with such anxiety and tension. However this has not happened and I am here in a valley that has beauty but also has never felt like home.
The memories of my times on various islands sustain me through the years and every time I am able to go back I am just so thankful.
All these experiences have made me who I am and who I am ~
I am thankful to be
xo
No comments:
Post a Comment