Surround Yourself With People Who Care

   I was pregnant at both my sister's weddings and, oddly enough, I was nine months pregnant at both their weddings ~ years apart ~ needless to say I wore the same dress! My sister Laura had asked me to be her maid of honor and I (selfishly) declined because I was trying to have as stress free of a pregnancy as possible. When she asked me to do a speech at her wedding I also declined because I would have my two children there and I was so pregnant and she already had so many people speeching. However somehow our wires got crossed and she did not quite hear that message. The night before I had this weird premonition that that would be a possibility so I hauled my pregnant body off the bed and wrote her a letter that could also be used as as a speech. The day of the wedding dawned beautifully and since my daughter was a flower girl and son a flower boy we started getting ready. The wedding was held in breathtaking gardens and the it was perfect. Then we went to the reception. At the reception things did not go so smoothly for us. My son had a massive panic attack that lasted a very long time. I was outside of the venue in a courtyard trying to soothe him and missed the buffet dinner. Finally when he was calm his Nana (no direct relation to the bride or groom) offered to take him home along with his sister. He was actually willing to go and so I was relieved (so say the least) to have them go and I could finally get off my feet. When I walked back in I realized all the food had been packed away but I was so hungry. I begged the caterers to let me have some food and although they would not let me in the kitchen to choose some, a very sweet server loaded (and I mean loaded) up a plate for me. So there I am with my nine month belly walking to the front of many tables to sit down and eat (while everyone is finished eating and speeches are commencing). It is one of those moments you hope to be slightly inconspicuous. However just as I sat down and took my first bite all of a sudden I heard my name being called through the mike. I realized that oh, look at that, I was being called on to give a speech! So I stood up and with a totally full mouth headed to the microphone. I gulped down the bite and tried to gather my totally scattered thoughts thanking the good Lord that last night I had written out some thoughts! I did not have them with me of course but I hoped something would come back to me. I am not a speech giver by any means and when I was in high school if I ever had to give a speech I would be incredibly nervous. I think because I had absolutely no warning, and because I really did think I was not giving a speech, after I had swallowed my massive mouthful of food and looked out at the crowd I felt completely fine. I started off with a story highlighting how different my sister and I were and how I had always been the safe one. She had been fiery and exciting and dramatic. In the end though the theme of my speech was 'surround yourself with people who care.' I chose that because she used to make me little inspirational posters for my wall and one of them had a quote saying that.  In the end I think I gave an epic speech and it was because it came straight from my heart.
    When I gave this speech to my sister I was saying, surround yourself by people who care...but really I was saying ~ surround yourself by people who really see you. I felt like I had a bit of an idea of what marriage was like and I knew that it was not going to be easy ~ because what marriage ever is. I wanted her to be cared for and happy. I wanted her to feel supported and validated. I was saying surround yourself by people who really hear you. Surround yourself by people who cheer you on. Surround yourself by people who bring out the best in you, who you can have fun with, who allow you to shine, who encourage you and uplift you. It might not be very many people ~ it might only be one! That is all you need :) Now my sister is approaching the day where she will be holding her new baby in her arms. I feel like once again, I have paved the way and once again, it is not an easy road. So I'll say it once again ~ surround yourself with people who care ~ it will make all the difference and it will help you hold your head high and be the best mother you can be. xo

                          That look on her face says it all! Fiery determination and strength.

I am just relieved I got through the speech without my water breaking. I had my baby twelve days later.

                                               And now here she is ~ almost six year later. 

                                                I am so excited to be an aunty for the first time.