Why do you do that!?
What is your deal?!
Seriously that is SO annoying...
Do you have to be sick right now?
Listen I got NO sleep and have NO patience so YOU deal with it.
Seriously just stop, do NOT touch me, I am so exhausted.
Have you ever said any of those words to your spouse? Or at least thought the words, and many others? I saw a video today by Joy Prouty who is a photographer. She rode on horse back up a mountain and photographed a couple exchanging their vows. There was a video of them saying them and for a moment watching it conjured up this feeling of longing. I just wish for a second to go back my wedding day. To go back to that feeling that nothing in the world could take us down. That we TOGETHER were unstoppable ~ that our DREAMS mattered and WOULD be fulfilled. Snippets of moments of that day came to me. It is so long ago now really and so much has happened. I think the world has done a good job of trying to fracture any little bit of something we may have had.
We start out weaker than we know. The first trauma, the first wound, the first big hard moment that comes up begins the testing. Everyone goes through it. Then all that you have been raised to be by your parents comes forth. You get to see the real you deep down and so does your spouse. Sometimes it isn't so pretty. Some take time to wonder why and realize that isn't who they want to be. Other's just blindly go and flounder and fall. Some sail through every storm with strength. However that day ~ the first day of your forever ~ is such a huge beginning and until we are a ways in we do not, can not, grasp the depth and width and height of what we are really promising. Till death do us part? REALLY? The ring on your finger that you gasped and cried over when it was placed on your finger...the yes you said, the tears you shed in wonder and awe....from that moment on you are entering a life that can only be lived by you and your spouse. It isn't easy for anyone. Imagine if you could going back to that moment with him (or her). Would you do it all over again? You chose to once, you've seen all this person is now, where their roots lie, and would you do it again?
The reason I want to go back like I said before is to grasp just a bit tighter that feeling of strength. Even though, really, your bond is somewhat untested it FEELS SO UNBREAKABLE. Sleepless nights, infertility, poverty, grief....it all may lie ahead but in those moments you could care less and you said yes. You promised. Keep on keeping on. Remember that feeling. Pursue your dreams in whatever reality you can and pursue them together. Remember how amazing and perfect you thought your partner was? Is it almost laughable. Like could you imagine a huge fight with them? Did you ever imagine them hurting your heart? Probably not so much. Here is the thing though ~
I am preaching to myself here every time, every single time.
You are just as strong, just as unbreakable as you were on that very first day. Time has maybe told you otherwise but I would say that that is a lie ~ that you in fact are even stronger, even more unstoppable because you have made it this far. Maybe walk in that for a while. I hope your head is held high and love shines like a beacon from your eyes like it did that very first day, because it was in you then and it still can be now. You are not beaten, you are not done, you together are still a promise, still a joy, still a purpose, still strong...
Love Tansy
*this does not apply if you are in an abusive relationship ~ and if that is your case ~ please get help!*
❤️
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