A Precious Miracle Arriving Soon

 Being pregnant is a gift that I learned from the beginning not to take lightly. I got pregnant almost a year after I got married and this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage of drastic proportions. I actually ended up with cancer in my uterus and the news that after all the chemotherapy I may not be able to get pregnant again.

  Thankfully I was able to get pregnant again after a series of cleanses. Each pregnancy has been a promise for me. Each pregnancy has been filled with a lot of anxiety, so many unknowns, and at times a lot of fear.

  I am pregnant again after two losses and I am thirty six years old. This is my fourth biological living child but my seventh pregnancy.  I am going to have this baby in the next few weeks. The pregnancy has been challenging physically and I have had to really push through, but also just suffer some days with a lot of intensity. Every single morning I have woken up asking the child in my womb if he or she was still alive, still safe. Every morning he/she has assured me with little movements that he/she is indeed safe and alive. It has not been easy.

  Each pregnancy, a dear friend, who has documented the lives of my husband and I since we started dating, has taken pictures for me that have captured the essence of me during the pregnancy. This time around she had just had a new baby and I had no inspiration to have pictures taken I was so weak from lack of iron. Just getting out of bed takes so much from me. I hoped for some sort of miracle, some sort of ordained moment, where I would feel the strength to get out of bed, and prepare myself for some pictures and that somehow there would be someone who could take them in that moment.

 That day happened! The sun shone, I felt the strength, I had a location in my head, my sister who lives with me had clothes I could wear, I managed to curl my hair while sitting and breathing through the weakness, and my husband took the pictures. It was a moment of togetherness for us. We don't get to spend a lot of time outside of the house just the two of us and we have certainly not done a photo shoot like this ever before. It was actually fun. I had not been out of my house for days. I had to do some climbing and some balancing and I felt like such a conqueror for being able to accomplish this in my weakened state.

I had hoped for a sun dappled forest, a creek that made the babbling sound I so love, for ferns and moss in their brilliant hues and that is what I got!

  I also feel my husband captured the essence of my soul and I was so thankful. Every picture I had seen of myself  in the last long time looked so tired and old and worn. These pictures are totally different in my minds eye.

Here they are ~ I am about thirty five weeks pregnant here.

                                      Thanks to my sister for capturing these last few :)