Tonight I went for a quick little drive alone to drop off a gift to a friend for her birthday. There was a magnificent sunset. I don't have many complaints about my house but if I did have one it would be that I can't see the sunset from it. Sunsets are a unique sort of beautiful. Their colors range from the palest hues of blues and peaches to deep rich pinks and purples. The magnificence is completely different each night. Tonight the sunset was a flaming pink and it deepened as night came. As I drove to my friend's house there were all different perspectives and views of the sunset. At one point one lone dark tree was back lit in a field with mountains framing it on either side deep in the back ground with the sunset behind. It was so beautiful. When I drive alone I finally find a minute for my brain to process the things that have been building up as I go through my days. They are very full days that often go on without end. These were some of my thoughts:
There is an artist in the world right now, a very famous rapper, that has recently fully committed his life to Jesus. He has just released an album that is called 'Jesus Is King' and he is proclaiming really publicly how his life has changed. He has previously lived a lifestyle and rapped about things totally opposite to living a life for Jesus and has also thought of himself as pretty much on par with Jesus. I have listened to a couple of his interviews and for some reason his words have moved me to tears multiple times. I feel like his words are so vital right now to the world. He talks a lot about culture and how it is dictating everyone's movements. He discusses how taking an Instagram photo is more important to most people than relationships and how we are spending our money on things that really don't mean anything and how we could be investing in the future with our money. He talks about so many things that people are too scared to discuss anymore because of the back lash and hatred they will experience. He also just talks about how Jesus has brought him a lot of freedom in areas of addiction and darkness. It resonates with me on so many levels.
Why does it resonate so deeply? I really dislike the culture I am living in. I don't fit at all. I am really grieved about how relationships have changed, how everyone is so addicted to their screens and how they value that over everything else. I feel anxious about the lack of humanity online that I see every day and the pressure that my children feel to own cell phones and be online at such young ages; and how other children are not allowed to have contact with each other other than with devices. I hate that my husband and I just watch separate screens every night and rarely even make eye contact. Most people really dont want to have phone conversations anymore as texting is so much more convenient. I feel like I am living in the wrong era. I just want to buy massive amounts of acres, have my husband home, work hard, live well, and be in healthy real relationships. If I never have to see a cell phone again or hear the chime of a text, that must immediately be answered, sign me up! It is so socially acceptable to feel like a cell phone has precedent over any situation. 'Call waiting' is literally the most rudest unkind thing and texts are the worst. I am just having my own Kanye moment over here. This is what I think. This is who I am. My almost fifteen year old does not have a cell phone much to her shame. A fifteen year old without a cell phone in this day and age in this society is socially not really acceptable. I am proud I dont own a cell phone myself and if she never has one I wll be the happiest person ever. It will ruin her with its lies of dissatisfaction, unreality and filth. It will cause her even more anxiety, addiction, and whatever else it can if she allows it. The amount of hours a cell phone steals from your life is unprecedented and disgusting. Imagine if you didn't care about what anyone on social media was doing, selling, where they were travelling, what they were wearing, what they thought was so important, and you just focused on spending time talking and seeing and being with real people!? Imagine?!
It is the next day now and I had to take my baby to the doctor. This office is in a small heritage home and the waiting room is tiny. Chairs are crowded together and today it was filled with elderly people. For about fifteen minutes no one had cell phones out. It was me, seven elderly people and my baby. Everyone asked questions about my baby. I was told about their grandchildren and the time when they had young children. They loved every smile, every movement of my little one. They exclaimed over her smile, her little teeth, they waved at her and the whole room was filled with joy. This experience was so beautiful to me I wanted to cry. Cell phones steal these every day moments that are meant to fill you with life.
What if you read real books, wrote on real paper, and looked at real flowers, hiked real mountains, stood in real streams, listened to waves in real life and were fully engaged in reality? What if when you were waiting somewhere you smiled at someone, complimented them, and saw them as real people. What if you when you went on a walk or to the park you didn't have your cell phone and just experienced the moments!
Full disclosure ~ I am addicted to social media. It is bondage. I feel this aching emptiness and crushing loneliness when I am not on it and yet even more so when I AM on it. If I want to call someone on the phone I know they dont want to talk as they are busy with their lives. I dont have a social community in real life that I spend time with regularly...therefore social media is this fake filler. It grieves me and I am trying to get a hold of it all and let it go ~ to embrace the fact that I am not lonely really. I have five children so I am far from alone! It is a battle I must win and I will.
Kanye talked about a lot other really amazing things that resonated with me. Maybe I will write more about that another day.
Whatever your real life is...aside from sparkling carefully curated instagram moments, may you be able to feel joy, have a sparkle in your eyes, see the beauty that is somewhere close and may you feel capable of the realization that cell phones are stealing from you, your cell phone is stealing something precious from you. What is it? Do you care? it is fine if you don't because I care enough for many :) Haha!
xo
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