Feed My Soul

 Sometimes I think

What just happened?

How can I capture that feeling that I JUST had and hold it as close as possible to savour it in all its glory?!

Everyone around me is a part of me in some way

My family I mean

And there are moments were they SHINE so effortlessly and are IN their essence and their beauty shines from their eyes in a way that is totally their own

Today I dropped my daughter off at camp and there were many components that went into the moment but she was so happy and excited and HOPEFUL. As a middle aged adult I sometimes forget that feeling of being hopeful like that. It is this hot air balloon feeling that takes you up. Her three younger siblings were excited for her too and helped her with her luggage and getting her bunk bed ready. 

Today my little grandson was here as his parents are celebrating being married for two years. My daughter came upstairs ready to go out with lipstick on, a beautiful dress, child in womb, perfume on and looking radiant and I just wanted to capture the moment forever. This chapter of her life, it is just beginning, and that same chapter of my life is ending. She is fresh and young and vibrant and it is so deeply beautiful. 

Today my two year old changed her clothes from one dress or skirt to another. She sang and danced and cried and wailed and yelled and was herself in every form. We knew every feeling and thought and emotion. She was completely herself, unspoiled by the cruelty of time and pressure.

Today I drank a delicious cup of tea while making dinner. It was reviving and warm and soothing. It is a rainy day here after intense heat. The earth is just SOAKING in this life giving water. You can almost hear everything growing and sighing in relief. 

Last night my daughter told me she was starting a blog about adoption and she told me, 'I feel like you mom!' It was the sweetest thing. 

This evening my three youngest and I went for a walk and their energy was electric. They ran and yelled and jumped in puddles and laughed and their wildness felt so important and genuine and innocent. There was so much joy in just being outside after a rainy day. There was such free movement and verbal expression of all goodness. 

These moments are gone so quickly but today I could really take them in and BE in them and those days feed my soul.