I really love finding the right gift to give a friend when I feel inspired. Sometimes when I am exhausted I just can't think of anything at all and that's when I pray and ask God for help.
It may sound silly but I do believe that God cares about tiny details like a gift that matters. I don't want to buy people things that are a waste of space if at all possible.
Last week it was my friend's birthday and often in the past I have been able to spend time and energy on finding her what feels like the perfect gift.
This year was so different. I had no energy and had been working hard on the renovation for my daughter and her family. On my friend's birthday I knew I wanted to drop off a gift and so ON THAT DAY I looked around my room in despair. I really had no energy to go out to try to find her a gift. I had no time to order one online. What was I to do!? So I sent up a prayer.
Beside my bed was a book that I had just gotten but not read yet about the healing of the soul. I put that in a bag. Then I spied under my desk a small stack of these beautiful doll clothes I have collected over the past two years from a craft fair. They are hand made and they are in inspired by the American Doll books. There are gowns and hats and cloaks and more. They are art work and I love them. I have not put them on any dolls we have as my three year old would ruin them. I am saving them for another time. However, I saw them under my desk and knew my friend has had three granddaughters come into her family this year. I thought I would put one in as my friend makes beautiful dolls and my reasoning was maybe she would put one of these outfits on a doll she made or something. I put my hand in the pile and grabbed an outfit. I barely looked at it. I also threw in my favourite tea out of my cupboard, and special sugar I always buy for her, and honey as well. I also went to a bakery and got her European inspired treats that remind me of her. I would have much rather baked her a cake but I didn't have it in me. I wrote her a brief card and that was that.
I dropped them off at her door, as she was not home, and hours later she got home and opened the gift.
She then sent me a text telling me that years ago she had a friend who had American Dolls and a lot of clothes and accessories and that my friend had yearned to get to have those too. Her family could not afford it, but she had made a little book of everything she would like. Apparently the doll outfit that I gave her was one of the ones she had always wanted. She texted me and asked if somehow she had told me that story and I had remembered?
This type of thing has happened a few times in the gifts I have given her.
I told her no I had no idea and had just thrown in it randomly. Moments like this though, they matter. My friend lost her mother some years ago and misses her so much. Her birthday is a time she remembers her mom. This birthday she felt sad and had a hard time for multiple reasons. This gift felt somehow deeper than just a doll outfit. I sometimes feel like her mom whispers in my ear from beyond our realm. She loved her children so deeply. However it is more likely God :) who sees and loves His children, and who cares about birthdays and grief of the heart.
As the years go by I will forget this moment so I am writing this here to remind myself.
I want to be a vessel used by God ~ so desperately. It has been the cry of my heart since I was little. I imagined a much bigger life with more capacity to serve and bless others. That has not been my reality, but I hope that when I am gone others will remember that I saw them, I cared for them, I celebrated them whenever I possibly could, and sometimes that was through a birthday gift.
xo
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