When I had my first newborn I already had a just turned two year old who my husband and I were adopting. I had only had her in my home for about six months so we were still trying to really get to know each other's hearts. Having a brand newborn baby come into the mix was incredibly challenging. He also was a baby that had a lot of struggles to overcome, but none of them were really obvious, so I could not really glean help from the medical field. It set the tone of how parenting was going to feel for me for a very long time. I was overwhelmed, felt very insecure, and like I was failing no matter how hard I tried.
I have a two month old new baby right now. She is my fifth child. It is interesting how different I feel this time around because of what I have learned.
So let this be a very dear lesson I can share for all of you new moms to remember. There is no handbook for your specific child. Every single moment of pregnancy, and all that follows, is new to you for the rest of their lives as you have never walked that road. Try to give yourself grace. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and like you want to give up. Just remember you are not alone. Every new mom is in the same boat! If nursing is hard for you...well, its been hard for many a mother. There is so much support out there now for mothers who want to nurse their babies. Don't try to go it alone.
The list goes on with everything, and it is so important to remember 'this to shall pass' and it may seem to drag on, but in all reality it will go more quickly than you can imagine when you look back. Even if you can't enjoy the moments all that well just be IN the moment. Try to take deep breaths, stay hydrated and fill you mind with this truth: You are their perfect mom and you are enough!
I did not do any of this the first time around and the experience was actually traumatic for me. This fifth time around I feel a lot more peace most days. There are the hard days where I have nursed for hours due to her having a growth spurt and my anxiety is high, but mostly I feel okay with it all.
Having a new baby is not for the faint of heart. The responsibility is the greatest you will every have. I am two months in now and my baby is doing well. She is gaining weight like a champion, smiling and cooing and doing all she should be. It is such a blessing to me to see this. She is so loved and adored and she can rest in that.
Random things I have learned that have really helped this time around:
Check your baby for a tongue and lip tie...if there are any...getting them cut helps in so many areas, but when they are tiny...nursing them is very challenging, and sometimes impossible, if they have a tongue tie or lip ties.
Nursing fully on one side...making sure they fully empty the breast! I did not realize how important that was. I have a lot of milk and I don't know if I have every made sure to fully empty each side. However this really makes a difference in how babies digest their milk and can really cut down on how fussy and gassy they are.
I have given my baby probiotics since the day she was born and I know that has helped her feel more at peace.
I have slept her sitting up in a little chair. For my babies that really helps them sleep better.
I put corn starch on her during diaper changing to help keep diaper rash away and keep her dry and it makes a big difference in that area.
The first five days she was never out of someone's arms even at night. I was not always trying to put her down to get a break. I was content to just snuggle her. I think this helped her adjust to life outside the womb with less trauma. New babies just want to be snuggled up in someone's arms close to their heart every second of every day. It is normal and important and not something some people realize.
I got my placenta encapsulated to try to help my hormones be a little less intense during the first few months. It has helped me feel a lot more calm and in control of my emotions. I just take one pill a day. I am so grateful that I was told about this and made the effort to get it done. It makes a huge difference.
For the first two months I have eaten as much as I wanted when I wanted as breastfeeding makes you ravenous for food. Now that she is just over two months I have started to change what I am eating to try to lose some of the excess weight I am carrying on my body, but giving myself that two months to eat whatever I felt I needed to was really nice.
Getting enough sleep really affects the quality of my breast milk. When I don't get sleep my baby is very fussy and gassy. REST is so important and I have tried to make that a huge priority over cleaning my house and showering and doing any other good thing...it has been hard but worth it.
All that I have learned just goes on and on but I am so grateful for how pleasant this experience has been after some very hard experiences in the past. I hope as I grow older there will be woman who can glean from my knowledge as I will be happy to share them so that they do not go through some of the horrible things I had to go through!
