Simply ~ The Park

  It was a blustery cold day even in the sun and we decided we had been stuck inside long enough. The children headed out without a thought to their personages. I followed behind with the stroller laden with hats, gloves, a blanket, my camera, water and all the things I anticipate may just be needed on a walk such as this. The walk started out in sunshine and crisp wind but in the shade all three started to shiver from cold. I then gave them their gloves and talked to them in my most motherly fashion about why I had told them flip flops would not be acceptable and why I had sent them to their rooms for socks. They marvelled at my wisdom and laughed at how they would have just come in shorts and jackets. I tried to point out that when I ask them to do things I have reasons, always reasons, and they let those sounds waves slide around them but not in them. Their oldest sister was at home baking three pumpkin pies for a tea she was putting on for her grandmothers and some of their friends. She had already baked lemon squares and had cheese scone dough waiting for the morning. I wanted to be present. More present than I have been for a while. I wanted to be in the moment. So I was. The leaves were vibrant. The shrieks from children, in a yard backing onto the park, full of joy, and my children felt happy and free. It doesn't take much to bring contentment and joy ~ just time outside.

                    A tree in someone's back yard bordering the park. Magnificent

                                         The age old fence that I found beautiful

Practicing their baseball skills of which they have no clue about any real rules and just feel all powerful and amazing when they connect bat to ball and then they run from tree to tree.

When we arrive home cold and tired there is sister hard at work while siblings try to stay out of her way...but drive her crazy because they just can't. Her apron was made by her Oma who attended the tea...the oven mitts are compliments of Pioneer Woman :)

  Her culinary skills surpassed mine when she was about ten. She is almost thirteen now.

And at the end of a long day they truly fell asleep like this. In the mismatched bedding and blankets.  One pillow case from a wedding fourteen years ago and a blanket made by women on a loom from Yak wool somewhere in India. 

A New Computer

Extra extra read all about it!!!

I got a new computer!!!!


  A couple nights ago I had a breakdown (yes, I know, again!). I was sobbing and overwhelmed and it was to do with a whole host of things. I cry a lot. I break down a lot, and I survive.
This time though the main reason was that my computers I have are just so old and so full of pictures and documents that they were causing me no end of grief. I need them for homeschooling and I need them for storing pictures and for blogging.

  I am old fashioned in that I actually save and print out and put in albums pictures of my children. This takes a lot of work and effort and I am usually about a year behind in the pictures printing stage. In trying to back the pictures up and save them with computers that are constantly shutting down on me, not to mention they are painfully slow and unreliable, the stress was too much for me that night. I had been trying all afternoon to work on the computers and they were not working. I decided to go out that very minute and buy a computer! My husband was all for it and handed me money he had been carefully saving. It was so kind of him. I do not know what he was saving it for but he sacrificed it for me.

  I had no plan in place and really no clue what I was going to do but my brother came to my rescue along with my friend. We all three went to the little mall in my town and looked in the one store there that had computers. We decided on one but when we went to pay for it they only had a floor model and were missing cables for it. So on we went to the one other store we felt safe buying a computer from and there we found it! So I now have a new computer that has a lot of storage AND I have a new monitor and key board and mouse. That night I also went out and got 720 pictures printed.
I feel like I lost about twenty pounds of anxiety doing this.

  I am so thankful to my brother for all the information and advice he gave me. I really do NOT like technology. Give me a 24 roll of film any day....BUT I learned a lot of new words and it was an empowering process for me.  I am so thankful to my friend for the moral support and the Danish pastry she bought me for sustenance. I am thankful too that my brother just spent all afternoon and evening here today setting up this new contraption and downloading all I need onto it.

  So a couple years into blogging and I am finally set up with my own computer. It feels great and it took a village to get me here but here I am.

Have a lovely Sunday tomorrow ~
Tansy

Remembrance Day 2017

   Remembrance day is a day that I hold dear in my heart. It is a day where I reflect on how History sets the tone for today and how it affects generation after generation. I think about my grandfathers and great grandfathers and their choices in regards to their children's and grandchildren's and so forths freedoms in all they gave of themselves, their sacrifices for future generations, as they were great.

  I thought I'd copy out a poem in a book I have from my grandparent's home. It is called "A Canadian Twilight' and the poem I am writing out is by Bernard Freeman Trotter. This specific poem is written just before he was killed in action in France in May of 1917. His parents received this poem from him in a letter the day after he was killed. It is powerful and its' message is vital. There was extreme sacrifice made for you and I. It does not matter how many years ago it was ~  The price payed on battlefields and in the millions of souls that gave up all their dreams, their innocence, all they had, for me ~ for you is one that is never repayable! However if you read this poem the writer knew that even those who fought would (after the war) move forward in a sense and become 'effaced by later failure, sloth, or sin.'

  I think the best way we can repay this supreme sacrifice made on each of our behalves is to live a life where we extend kindness and helpfulness and love to everyone we possibly can, and to never take our freedom forgranted. I know this has been said time and time again but each November 11th for me is like a reset to try to hold this closer and to live in remembrance. Here is the poem.

 

"ICI Repose"

A little cross of weather -silvered wood,
Hung with a garish wreath of tinselled wire
And on it carved a legend - thus it runs:
"ICI Repose ~" Add what name you will,
And multiply by thousands: in the fields,
Along the roads, beneath the trees, one here,
A dozen there, to each its simple tale
of one more jewel threaded star like on
The sacrificial rosary of France

And as I read and read again those words,
Those simple words, they took a mystic sense;
And from the glamour of an alien tongue
They wove insistent music in my brain,
Which, in a twilight hour, when all the guns
Were silent, shaped itself to song.

O happy dead! who sleep embalmed in glory,
Safe from corruption, purified by fire,
Ask you our pity? ours, mud grimed and gory,
Who still must grimly strive, grimly desire?

You have outrun the reach of our endeavour,

Have flown beyond our most exalted quest, -

Who prate of Faith and Freedom, knowing ever

That all we really fight for's just -a rest,

The rest that only Victory can bring us -

Or Death, which throws us brother like by you -

The civil commonplace in which 'twill fling us

To neutralize our then too marital hue.

But you have rest from every tribulation

Even in the midst of war; you sleep serene,

Pinnacled on the sorrow of a nation,

In cerements of sacrificial sheen.

Oblivion cannot claim you: our heroic

War-lustred moment, as our youth, will pass 

To swell the dusty hoard of Time the Stoic,

That gathers cobwebs in the nether glass.

We shall grow old, and tainted with the rotten

Effluvia of the peace we fought to win,

The bright deeds of our youth will be forgotten,

Effaced by later failure, sloth, or sin;

But you have conquered Time, and sleep forever, 

Like gods, with a white halo on your brows-

Your Souls our lode-stars, your death-crowned endeavour

The spur that holds the nations to their vows.

A Gift Just for Me

  In the last few weeks my husband has tried to shift some of his focus from work onto our family. It has been such a blessing. His job has taken most of this time and focus this last year and it has taken its toll. His job is very demanding and high stress and most of his hobbies have been put aside. This last week he decided to make me something I had been asking for for quite a while. We have a table that has been in my family for over one hundred years and I wanted a bench for it. I have chairs that are about twenty years old and are falling apart and so as each one bites the dust I have wished more and more for a bench. He decided to make me a bench. I am so thankful for it and I love it. He made it out of cedar and it took him about half a day. He made it exactly how I wanted it...simple and solid and beautiful. When it was done I actually took it out into the field across the road to take pictures of it and also took some of it in our front entry way under the coat hooks he made of me years ago when we lived in our farm house. In order to do this I cleared a large number of coats and shoes and junk from on and under the hooks and then swept the floor for the first time in a very long time!
  I love thoughtful home made or hand made gifts. I actually adore them so this spoke to my heart on all sorts of levels. I hope this bench lasts many years and will be steeped in laughter and good memories.

A Beautiful Day With Snow

 Thanks to Aunty Ash who gave us the coats and snow pants for the smaller two children and to Sports Check and Carters who miraculously got in one pair of snow pants and gave them to me for my very picky ten year old. The coat also was a blessing and the only one he can handle wearing (that was Sports Check's addition to the mix). Then there is Walmart to thank for my twelve year old's snow pants and her friend Halle for the jacket. It takes a village (notice I didn't even mention the boots ~ all from different stores some gifted, some thrifted, some new) to clothe these treasures of mine!

  This Thursday we went to the library and when we got there we realized it had gotten really cold. I hadn't looked at the forcast but it has been raining pretty heavily for a couple days and I thought Autumn was just settling in. That very day it started to snow! I always take some quick first snow day pictures that are awkward but capture the moment. I was so prepared for snow this time and felt proud of myself. They all were warm and cozy with boots and pants that fit. My three year old was running around yelling that the 'kids' had told him they'd build him a snow man so they did with the snow just barely on the ground. He was thrilled. They were making snow angels and just reveling in the magic. These are the moments that as a parent make me feel at peace. There is so much pure joy and freedom in children. It is just plain goodness to see that snow ~ just snow falling from the heavens ~ brings so much happiness.


  Then this happened. This is an Autumn/Winter combo sunset. I was making dinner and happened to glance up from the pot of steaming stew and ran to grab my camera. I ended up driving around the neighborhood trying to capture moments as the sun steadily set. It was so glorious!

                                            I am just standing in my driveway for this shot

                                                Ran across the road for these ones

                                               I quickly drove up the road to the river

                                                This is up on the dyke by the river

In the breatheless couple minutes it took to drive around with the camera you can see how this one Thursday in all of History came to a close.

It's Craft Fair Season Again!

   I have some treats for you today!!! Craft fair season is upon us here where I live along with some snow and temperature that has halted my grand plans for planting bulbs. I had bought them, put off planting them, and now the ground is officially very very cold. Oh well!

   Last night I went to my first craft fair of the season. It had a hundred vendors and so many treasures. The night was cold and people were wearing such beautiful winter ensembles. There was live music and vintage pieces and I felt so happy. Then this morning we got up bright and early and ventured out, as a family, to another craft fair very close to our house. This is one of my favorite craft fairs because it features many elderly ladies that bring my grandmas right close to my heart again. I wander around feeling a bit teary eyed looking at all their beautifully lined faces full of wisdom and creativity and I want to buy everything. My children always bless me with what they choose as treasures. This year was no exception. I, as usual, took some pictures so I will post them.

  Oh, and my last post was melancholy and down because that was how I was feeling that day and that week. It was a hard week. I am blatantly honest here. It is my own space to put down what I am feeling. I do that because I want to be totally authentic, hence the name, soulshinethrough. My life is really lovely and amazing and imperfect and hard. I share it all as much as feels right to me in that moment. To those who reached out with care to me I so appreciate that. If you struggle, as I do, with anxiety and feeling alone sometimes or often, know that I get it and you are not alone (and I am not alone either ~ those feelings are not always real ones). If you feel motherhood is not a walk in the proverbial park, I get it, and you are not alone. There are a lot of 'shoulds' out there, a lot of guilt you can walk under. However, the days when you can shed all that and feel free are so much more intoxicating and beauty filled because you feel it so sharply and with such immenseness ~ so keep going towards that. No need to give up! Have a fantastic weekend.
xo

Here are the pictures

I bought this warm winter hat and the next one for five dollars each from a sweet elderly lady who only wanted four dollars for each hat. To me these hats are all kinds of perfection.

            He has cookie and cinnamon bun on his face and a cold...but is still lookin pretty great!

                                              They actually love their hats which is awesome.

This is actually my seven year old's treasured find but the three year old was having a melt down about not getting a turn so he of course got his way for a couple minutes.

      How proud am I that my seven year old wanted a vintage type writer? As proud as one can be actually.

This is a little leather bracelet for me, a little bell for my three year old and a tiny hand sewn coin purse that my seven year old was given for free by one of the many many sweet ladies there.

                                                          This speaks to my soul

                                This is a felted dryer ball and it couldn't help but call my name

I know this is a bit blurry but the excitement around the table when trying to take this picture made it impossible for a clear one. This is my ten year old son's treasures bless his sweet heart. A tiny vintage chicken dish, a free book mark, a painted mouse rock and some little rocks.

                                                                       
                                                               Hi cutey

Last year I bought two of these and I adore them. I was so hoping this lady was going to be there again and she was! I bought her only small basket she had made and another bigger one.

                                                     Oh my heart is so full! Look at this!!!

I saw the hands that wove this and her fingers were thickened by arthritis ~ I will treasure this always

                  These were made by another elderly lady who was selling them for six dollars.

                  I had never seen a little lamp like this before so I was smitten and bought two.

 This is my twelve year old's find ~ a two dollar bag of old earrings that are absolutely phenomenal.

I hope these pictures made you smile. I found other treasures as well ~ a wooden hand carved box (second hand) linen tea towels, the list goes on and I left so many other things I would have loved to buy for others to enjoy.