How Far You Have Really Come

Good morning ~ I am reading 'The Way of Abundance' by Ann Voskamp (very slowly) and I'd have to say it is blessing me greatly. All her book have. Some people have told me her way of writing is not one that they can handle well or follow but it works for me :)

  I thought I'd write out some of what I read today because she words it so perfectly in a way I couldn't but wish I could. She starts out saying she's held a wild bird in her hand ~ have you? I have, and their tiny hearts beat faster than you can imagine. No one else can see or feel it but you in that moment.
So she begins...

'It happens - there are ways to look fine on the outside...and no one knows what you've really survived.
But the truth is? You didn't just survive, so let's toss that myth out right at the outset.
The way you keep walking? You may be wounded. You may be hurting. You may be limping. You may feel alone and overwhelmed and an unspoken broken - but you're no victim.
You're not just a survivor. You're a thriver.
You may bleed - but you rise.
Yeah, it may not feel like it - but you are seen...how you just keep keeping your chin up and limping brave through the hurt and how you keep taking one step out of bed and another step through the door - and how you keep scaling mountains by relentlessly taking steps forward.
But I wanted you to know your wounds are seen and you are going to be okay - it is all going to be okay. Not that you badge flash your scars or anything.
Or try to hide them, ashamed.
It's just sometimes there's this passing flicker in your eyes, old pain shooting white right through.
But mostly, quietly, the scars just become you - become who you are and become you...make you more beautiful - they just become the way your skin pulls mottled and raised over your soul and this is how you fit most beautifully......
The kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these......
You are so brave to keep facing the light. To keep walking towards Home......
Hang on. Press in. Look up......'

~ there is more but that is what I will share today ~

  Isn't this all of us to some degree right up close or far back in the recess of ourselves? It is good to acknowledge it some days a bit more clearly then others. To realize how far we have really come and to realize we kept climbing those mountains, we kept getting out of bed (most days), because are still alive we never fully gave up ~ and that is powerful!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a lovely Tuesday out there in your world ~
Love Tansy

Joy

  It all started when I was maybe ten and yet long before that as well. My mom got me my own film camera. She gave me a roll of film that held 24 pictures and that was how I started. I ran around taking pictures of all the beautiful things. I couldn't see the pictures until she could afford to get them printed and after she did she also got me an album to put them in. I treasured that camera and took it many places. I captured so many happy memories of life with it. When film started getting outdated my husband got me a digital camera for an anniversary gift. My other camera from my mom had lasted years and years.  This new camera opened up a whole new world to me. I tried to just take twenty four photos and then get them printed but that quickly stopped happening. I loved the details I could capture, the fact that I could zoom in, and that I could erase the pictures where there was red eye or that were blurry. As time went on I wished I could get an even better camera. My husband bought me an amazing Nikon film camera that was previously a friend's. I LOVED it but the fact it was film got in the way. As years passed another anniversary came and we got me another Nikon that was digital. Needless to say my love of photography has been strong for as long as I can remember and it is thanks to my mom and my grandma who was also always taking photos.  I got a new lens only yesterday and I am so excited about it. I haven't had long to try it out and I have so much to learn, but here are some pictures from the few hours it has been my own. Maybe one day I will own enough equipment to capture some other people's moments in a way that does them justice. I am so thankful for this new lens and how it shows what captures my eye and the beauty in the details. Thanks to my friend for accompanying me for moral support and for modeling.

Thankyou so much mom for giving me the gift of my first camera!

Fresh Bread

Fresh Bread ~

   Do you have any fond memories around fresh bread or the smell of fresh bread? My oldest has a loaf of bread going in our bread maker. I don't know why she even thought of bringing out the bread maker because we have not used it in a year at least if not two! However I was happy for her to do it. I love the smell of fresh bread. We all have our senses and they serve us well.

  When I took a course (three times!) that really impacted my life one of the things they had us do was write a list of our senses ~ usually we have five. We had to write them each out (sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing) at the top of  a page, and then underneath we had to write lists of things that soothed each sense. One of the things I wrote about smell was that I loved the smell of fresh bread. My mom used to make amazing bread. I probably also loved going to the bakery where my dad worked for a time, and it smelled of fresh bread and just fresh baking. It is a safe soothing scent to me.

  Yesterday my husband and I were commenting on how the scent of freshly spread manure has changed so drastically from when we were children. It was scent we really didn't mind growing up. It signaled spring and new growth and plowing time. There are so many things about ourselves we could become so much more aware of if we just took a little bit of time to wonder. So what smells make you happy? Can you remember some moment where you walked into a store or into a barn or somewhere and a smell that wafted to you brought you back to some moment in life just like that? Well fresh bread does that for me. If you have a smell you love and makes you happy maybe in the next few days go somewhere or do something that brings you in contact with that smell. Take some time to breathe it in and let it soothe your soul.

  A couple more smells I love is vanilla perfume, cinnamon, freshly cut hay, apple pie or crisp baking, lilacs, ferns, and the list goes on....

 I hope you have a wonderful day.

xo

Jumping Off A Waterfall

  Have you ever jumped off a waterfall? I have. It was a spur of the moment decision and I was trying to prove something. I have always been so cautious, scared of heights, so even climbing trees was a challenge because of my timidity. Jumping off the water fall was the best feeling ever. I understand why people do crazy things like bungee jumping or sky diving. You feel totally exhilarated and really alive. Your heart pounds and when you jump off a water fall you plunge into fresh cold water that awakens every sense you have in a new way. It was something I will never forget. I have not jumped off anything high since and have remained overly cautious and hesitant, but because of this, every single moment I have when I cast those feelings aside and throw caution to the wind, stays with me in a way that wouldn't if I wasn't the person I am.

  It is good to embrace who you are ~  to whatever degree you can. Know that you are who you are for many many reasons. Some you might not remember, some you might with much clarity. You can always work on who you are, on your self awareness and your empathy. You can change and can always move forward. What beauty our lives have to offer in regards to all of this.

Have a great Tuesday :)

Love Tansy

 Today I went for a drive up to my favorite mountain and took some time to take in the hills of fresh unfurling ferns, the meadows covered in dandylions and the mountains that still have some snow on them at the tops. I drove for a while sick in my soul from things happening that are just too hard to bear really. And yet I must, and don't we all. When there are things going on that are just too hard to bear we still bear it. Lord give us strength as we take part in the suffering of the soul.

Swimming Upstream and Cat Sitting

  Have you ever tried swimming up river? I have and it was a bust. The current is pretty relentless. Some days that is how life feels ~ like you are swimming upriver and you can't win for trying. Ah well, you  just keep swimming :)

  My husband is away for a few days (actually five! I did not realize how long five sounded when I set the trip up!) and I am taking care of my four children plus my friend's eleven kittens, two mother cats, and a dog. The cats are mother and daughter and this is the daughter's first litter. Her mother and her have been sharing kittens without bias, both squished in a basket together nursing kittens and trying to keep all eleven of them happy. The older mom (and grandma) is named Bootsy and she is as calm and cool as they come. She is a seasoned mom who knows her kittens will survive life. She takes time to herself daily to get some sun and fresh air. Now Turtle (the new mom) is a whole different kettle of fish! She is more than concerned about each and every kitten. When we hold one she is there and literally taking it out of our hands with her mouth if the kitten squeaks. She has moved all eleven kittens once (I found them behind a deep freeze) and gave me a heart attack. I moved them all back to the basket and left the two moms curled awkwardly around their kittens again. The next day I went back and Turtle had moved all but three to behind the freezer again. She had left Bootsy with three that may have been her actual kittens but if they were she had three more for sure that Turtle had taken as her own and Bootsy had not batted an eye lash. So I moved them all back again although I tried to outfit Turtle with her own special basket beside Bootsy's. I gave Bootsy five kittens and Turtle six. We shall see what happens tomorrow.

  I have five days without my husband and four days till my friend gets home. So here we go!


                            Here is Turtle with all eleven while Bootsy is away on a break.

                                       Kittens squirm a lot and I could not get a clear shot!

                                  Oh! It meowed and Turtle comes to protect and preserve.

                                           Both moms in one basket together.

One of the things I love most is that Bootsy often licks Turtles head when she comes to nurse the kittens and at one point they had their paws touching (resting on the kittens) ~ it was honestly incredibly special and beautiful to observe.

                              The children are loving being kitten sitters. Me, not so much.

Here we all are before our Charissa girl moved out, my husband went away for a break, and my sister moves out to house sit!

A New Lense?

  I have been wishing to buy new lenses for a while now and feel closer to that goal then ever before. A few days ago I got to try out some lenses owned by a friend and it was amazing to see what possibilities await! Wanna see?

So much beauty everywhere to be captured and just so many details!!!