Bigger Stronger Wiser Kind

  Back when I only had two children (and thought that life was really hard ~ which it was) I took a class through our community (okay I actually took it three times but that is besides the point). It was life changing for me. It taught me a lot about myself, and about parenting, and about attachment. I was blessed so deeply by all I learned and have held onto so many of the concepts shared there. One thing I learned that I try to chant to myself over and over on especially trying days is this....I am bigger, strong, wiser and I AM KIND. Now, pretty soon I wont be bigger because I am short and my two oldest children are going to soon be taller than I. However I am strong, I am wise and darn it I am not very kind!!!!! I WANT to be! I TRY to be! But take today for example. I am taking my two middle children to a drama class. It is the ONE time in the week they are away from me as they both homeschool. I love them dearly but they have SO MUCH energy and we have a small house and that class for them is just a really good thing. Okay so really its just a good thing for me, but I tell myself its great for them to. Anyway, I am trying to get them out the door. The oldest hurts the younger just as we are opening the door for them to go out to the car. She majorly over reacts and is hysterical saying she will not go to class. I make her go out to the van and get in telling her she WILL go to drama class. She WILL NOT buckle her seat belt. I am sitting in the driver's seat, gritting my teeth, saying in my head....be kind kind kind...and then I lose it. Out I get, my voice is raised, I force her to do up her seat belt, her tears are pouring, and that is it. The older one says he is not going and they both run in the house and my vision of whatever I thought the hour and a half was going to look like while they were at class evaporates and into the house I stomp. In about five minutes as I send them both to rooms to have quiet time (the little one just really needs to sleep as she has been having sleeping issues at night for a while now and is so overtired) I calm down enough to apologize and sooth the smaller one to sleep. The older one has a story on in his room and I have to leave again to go pick up my eldest. When I get her I am usually tense because she comes home and after behaving at school all day she acts out. I have been given the genius idea to get her to blow off steam before she gets in the house. So is what I do is I drop her off just down the road from our house and I 'race' her home. She runs as fast as she can to our back gate and in it, through out back yard to the front door, and I 'race' the van around the block to the front door. She wins but just barely. She is out of breathe and laughing and a ton of energy has just been expended. Then she comes in and has hot chocolate or tea and has to sit and rest for a bit. This has been a game changer. Today there was not one fight after school for a couple hours anyway and usually about two minutes after she walks in someone is in tears. It was glorious. Both the younger ones napped (that was a miracle) and the two older ones listened to a story for a good hour. That kind of peace has not happened for a long time in this house. These tips, these concepts are nothing I came up myself. However they are what I have been taught and tried to use and hold in my heart. I may forget them or stray way off the path in the moment but they help me veer back on and be stronger, wiser and kind. Kindness leads us to repentance...both mother and children. May you remember in a heated moment that you, amazing mother that you are, are bigger, stronger, wiser and you are kind. XO