A Personal Vendetta

The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive ~ Waking the Dead
by John Eldredge

'For you made us only a little lower than God and you crowned us with glory and honor.' Psalm 8:5

'I daresay we've heard a bit about original sin, but not nearly enough about original glory, which comes before sin and is deeper to our nature. We were crowned with glory and honor. Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave?  Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. The reason you doubt there could be a glory to your life is because that glory has been the object of a long and brutal war.  For lurking in the garden was an enemy. This mighty angel had once been glorious as well, the captain of the Lord's hosts, beautiful and powerful beyond compare. But he rebelled against his Creator, led a great battle against the forces of heaven, and was cast down. Banished from his heavenly home, but no destroyed, he waited for his opportunity to take revenge.Unable to overthrow the Mighty One, he turned his sights on those who bore his image. He lied to us about where true life was to be found, and we believed him. We fell, and 'our glory faded,' as Milton said, 'faded so soon.'

I have just started reading this book and this part got my hackles up because it is so true.
We often focus on sin sin sin (how we are failing and how we can never quite live up to our full potential) and guilt guilt guilt and we dont even recognize that we are and were crowned with glory and honor. What does that even mean as in how does it feel? Really? I just don't even know. However I want to find out what it means in relation to me and my place here.

I also wanted to highlight the very obvious war that takes place every day in the here and now for our existence. Evil is felt by all. We cannot deny it is in the world. We also cannot deny that there is good. Where is that source? Everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs around that if they care to take a moment and allow themselves to dwell on it.

I often want to scream (and actually do) in frustration at all the years the great evil stole from me, my family of origin, my marriage, my husband's family of origin and the list goes on.... The sin and the evil go back and back and back generations and the pride and lies that have consumed have opened doors for all sorts of blindness and lives lived without much joy or purpose. A lot of us feel like we just exist and we are constantly fighting against this unseen current. There is a realm we cannot often see with our physical eyes but it is there and it affects us all the time.

Our society would rather pretend that the spiritual realm is fallacy and does not exist or that it is ridiculous and silly to try to talk about it to others. Other cultures are much more aware and have much more respect for this realm. In our culture people feel uncomfortable and maybe they think you are a bit coo coo and maybe that is how I sound to you right now. I don't give a rats ass! I really don't. So much of my life has been directly affected by this evil. By forces I could not see and had no clue how to fight against. They ruled my family and they ruled me. I felt tired, dark, overwhelmed, anxious, abandoned, afraid, unwell, and the list continues. I grew up being taught, 'where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom' and I didn't feel free at all. I did believe in God and I did read the Bible but it didn't do all that much in the areas I needed freedom in. That led me to feeling hopeless, bitter, and never good enough!

I feel like now I have been given new eyes.

I am not always 'looking' for the evil okay I don't have this antenna always up just waiting to pounce :) However I am sick of how so many people that I know are under attack and suffering horribly. I really don't think life has to be such a massive uphill struggle all the time. I know that physical ailments are one thing that is for sure, but the mental bondage we can be in and the attacks we can be under 24/7 can be stopped and why shouldn't they be? Is your life one disaster or emergency after another? If you knew someone evil was attacking someone you loved, someone vulnerable, and doing horrible things to them, would you do something? Would you call the police, step in, do SOMETHING to fight?

 Evil has no bounds. We all know that. It will stoop as low as low can go. It will stop at nothing, nothing. There is no limits and the hate is the deepest darkest hate imaginable and it is leveled at you, it is leveled at me and it will do its best to make our life as hellish as possible.
If you don't believe that ~ fair enough ~ but I do and I am sick of it.

I want to start taking a stand.

For the ones I love.

I just want you to know that it isn't you all the time. It isn't always your fault. There is a specific assignment to make your life hell and you can start to do battle against that. You can start to break off those chains and start to walk with that glory and honor we were created with and for. This might sound nasty but if your life is pretty perfect you must not be much of a threat....just sayin....I'd rather be a threat I think because it means what I am doing has some sort of worth that goes deep.

However, I want to feel that way. I want to feel like I am worthy and crowned and beautiful. I am sick of feeling like I am less than and rejectable.

So I fight. I fight for myself, for my children, for my siblings, for my parents, for my friends and I take a stand. I am not very tall and I haven't been in a physical fight since I was a kid fighting a sibling for something I probably thought was a very big deal, but I hope that in the realm I can't see I will be seen as some sort of opponent.  I care about people's hearts and how they live. I care that they are happy and that they feel their preciousness.

I could go on but you get the point. I am angry at evil, at the lies and the abuse, and I care about ushering in good. The battle is real and it is intense and it is relentless and there is victory to be had. We have the authority through Jesus.

!! xo