The Oldest Daughter

 My eldest child.

I was that too ~ the oldest one, and the journey was not the smoothest for me. I have had no CLUE in the world how to navigate parenting on any level. It has been such a challenge for me. However I have been given these precious rich souls to journey with. They are so beautiful. 

My oldest is adopted and therefore not of my body. With this reality comes certain levels of challenge in regards to the ease of attachment. 

However this child is pure beauty. She is sweet, kind, caring, and thoughtful. She is hard working, she is so smart and precious. 

She and I are so different in some respects but we have similarities as well. Take this dress for instance. I have a special place in my heart for April Cornell. If you have not heard of her feel free to look her up online. She is a designer of much beauty. I have shared this love with my oldest and where we stayed we found a store devoted solely to this designer. We were honestly in heaven. We tried on so many dresses and spent way too much money. It was worth every cent. When my sweet daughter was younger she loved all things bright, sparkly and sequiny. I loved earthy organic vintage beauty. Now she has come to love some of that kind of beauty too. We were just in awe over this dress she bought. It is so simple, so nostalgic, but it has such beauty and elegance. We knew we wanted to do a small photo shoot with it and a more grey windy sort of day seemed like the perfect setting. 

 I have become part of her and she a part of me. It has taken much heart ache and work to get to this place.

There are those around me losing their precious gifts to pain and trauma in various ways. I am not unaware that each day in peace with my oldest daughter is a miraculous gift. I am treasuring it all as much as I am able. 

On our trip she got to try surfing, hay baling, horse back riding, fun delicious foods, and spending lots of her own money on treasures she found. She formed new friendships and suffered through sleeping with her whole family in a small enclosed space. She also got to have a taste of the life I had growing up and it was the best. She chose to have gracious fun loving attitudes for the most part. I wanted to say...

Stay with us, choose us, love us, 

We chose you, we choose you, we love you

We are not perfect, but in all we say and do we want the best for you

Let your pain fly free in the wind and let beautiful love set you free

You are more precious than anything

xo