If Only

 If only, 

If only I could truly love people enough (that's just not how it works sweetheart)

If only anxiety died for good 

If only my heart didn't hurt

If only I was more understood

If only I had more patience

If only I felt closer to him

If only I could touch the hem of His garment

If only healing would come

If only I had more self control

If only I had a 'tribe' that lived around me

If only I had a culture that felt nourishing and nurturing

If only I was thriving

If only I could bathe in the ocean

If only you understood

If only I could sleep

If only I didn't feel so alone

If only crying wasn't so hard

If only I knew how to help

If only you heard my heart

If only it was not quite so devastating

If only you were kinder

If only it all felt safer

If only I was stronger

If only I could laugh more

If only I could dance

If only we were all together

If only I did my hair

If only my eyes sparkled more

If only I sewed a dress

If only I took more time

If only I hugged you closer

If only I knew when it was the last time