Lonely

   Today I feel lonely. I think because I had a hard night and when that happens I feel vulnerable and extra tired and I want someone to be alongside me in the day. I had two children last night with very high fevers and a baby who must be fighting a sickness because she was up over and over. I was trying to get fevers down for a long time and nursing the baby over and over. 

  Thankfully today is not as warm as it has been this week and last weekend because my children are still sick and our house has been so hot. Anyway, I was just on instagram and started to tear up seeing all these people living their lives and I immediately got off it and was like, 'what is going on for you here!' and ya, its loneliness. I don't have anyone I could call to chat to because people don't answer the phone much anymore, and people are in different chapters of life and so busy. I don't have anyone I could stop by at their house for a quick visit in my town. My life wasn't always like this and somedays there is a weight in that. I loved loved LOVED having friends. Relationships always have their challenges but the times when I had a friend close by that was in the same season as me, and was home and had time for relationship....what jewel years those were. I am so thankful I got to experience that. 

  I hope that you are not in my boat and have lots of close by friends that love you and want to spend time with you. I hope you have someone you could call right now if you wanted to. I do have friends I could call on the phone if I scheduled it and I could voice message people ~ but it's not quite the same. Today I wish I could ask someone to come over and just cook with me and chat with me and help me be me you know?

It is such a gift and so life giving to have friends. I am so thankful for my friends and I understand the reality of life today and often I do have friends I could call. I am just expressing how I feel in this moment and the reality of my day today. 

Have a wonderful day

Tansy