My Rose Bush

   Since moving here to this house there has been a Rose bush that has grown tall enough for me to see every day out my window. When we move there will be countless things I miss about this property. I am the type of person that feels pain when I think of leaving a place I have made a home. I get attached and sentimental and things like door handles make me cry when I think of leaving them. It sometimes boggles my mind that this is the truth. How am I like this? I feel like many people would not understand in the slightest. My husband used to be one of those people.

   One day though, not many years ago, I got rid of a couch that had been in my life since I was nineteen. It has been with us through our entire marriage but it had reached an end. There was rotting food in it from an unnamed child and I could not get the smell out. My daughter and I lifted it down our stairs and manhandled it out the front door. When my husband got home he had a moment. A MOMENT of understanding something about me he has never really understood and found it easy to find annoying. He felt grief over a couch.  Moments like that are so VALIDATING.

  So when I think about moving from this place, because we will be sometime, and probably soon, I am SICK at the thought of leaving this Rose bush. It has reminded me of my grandmother, it has brought me joy, it has brought me comfort, and creativity, and has been a gift. Just a Rose bush, but a life giver, a sustainer, and it was planted by Manfred, a German plumber, who built this house and planted many flowers. How I have appreciated Manfred every day for ten years living here. He built me the perfect home. He never had any children but this home feels like it has gifted me love in a way I can't explain.

  Right now I can see the corn right across the road, the Roses are blowing in a gentle breeze, the baby is sleeping, and even though today has been the usual challenge I feel such a deep mix of grateful, and exhausted, and poured out, and given to.

I know I can't thank the Rose bush really, but I can thank its Creator. 

Sending you love,

Tansy