Dining Dancing Delight

  In my rather 'simple' life (and in that I am mostly not complaining) I do not do many things out of the ordinary. That is why a bunny getting out and having to be caught is a big deal. A little excitement is actually big! Something bigger than the bunny rescue happened on Sunday  ~ two of our children learned to ride two wheeler bikes and that was the biggest excitement around here for my husband and I since I dont know when. We felt such a sense of accomplishment and happiness. Our one child has tried to learn this skill since he was so little and he is now nine so to see him pedaling furiously down the road fast and free was an amazing feeling. He has problems with hand eye coordination and depth perception and many other issues that made bike riding seem almost impossible but it happened for him. We are so grateful.
  Something else that happened this week on a totally different note was my husband and I got to go out for dinner. We do not often go out together and if we do it is usually for a drive with the baby in the back seat. Eating out together is a luxury. My parents are staying at a beautifully historic and elegant hotel for their anniversary and as part of them staying there they were able to have dinner at a restaurant there. It boasts fine dining, a live band, and dancing. There is a dress code and exquisitely set tables and one has the opportunity to feel ladylike.
   Originally my parents had invited friends but because their anniversary was on a Monday their various friends were not able to come. In the end they invited us. So there we were ~ my husband in a suite and tie and me in an actual dress (I have not worn one since December) and sitting in this beautiful historic place. It felt surreal and very special. I feel like I do not often get to just sit and talk to my parents. Usually my children are there needing attention or there are other distractions. Last night our waiter was perfect, the food was amazing, and there were no distractions. The music was beautiful and there were three couples who danced to almost every song. They each had a different style and were a treat to watch. My parents were serenaded by the band and danced to Moon River. My husband and I cannot dance at all but we still went out on the dance floor and had our moments. I wish I had better words to describe it all. I would have to say that at some point in life it is important to do things like this. Things that feel out of the ordinary, special, and elegant. It was a little gem in this month of April. Thank you mom and dad for asking us to come. We savored every bite, let the music remind us of happy memories, and my dad and mom were more relaxed than usual and that was miraculous in itself. It will always be a beautiful memory for me.
  Now back to taking out the garbage and going for a walk in the rain and all the little things that make this life mine. I feel like last night I was lifted out of it for a minute and transported to luxury and a different type of reality but I am happy to be back here in mine. The apple blossoms in our neighbor's yard, the safely ensconced bunny, the babbling baby, and The Hobbit being read in the background. Sometimes being lifted out of a reality that is ordinary to something extra ordinary and coming back can be a rude awakening. Today I am just grateful that my reality is what it is. My parents reality was so different when they were my age and they worked hard so that mine would be better. I am glad they are still together. Glad they are moving forward. Glad for all this.

Happy Monday ~ Catching Our Bunny!

   This morning at around 9am the girl who comes to help me on school days opened up our front door and yelled that the rabbit had gotten out. Now a random back story to this is that this girl grew up coming to this exact house almost daily as her Nana had lived here. When she was little she had a rabbit named 'Bun Bun' that lived here and one day Bun Bun got out and got killed! She was always told that Bun Bun just got away and so she always had this secret hope Bun Bun would come back. When she was a teenager she was randomly just told one day that Bun Bun had actually died! Anyway so she pulled in this morning and there was our little rabbit Blossom coming into our front yard! She shooed her around to the back but visions of Bun Bun were in her head, and when she yelled in the door we all took action. I ran downstairs to get my sister's laundry basket, my sister abandoned her breakfast at the table (which the baby immediately took charge of) and I grabbed a carrot to. The two girls headed out (carrot and laundry basket in hand) and started the rescue mission. I had lost my keys that morning so had no keys to get out of the back yard! I found some extra ones and hobbled outside as my foot is still messed up. We have massive dogs that live on the other side of our fence on the one side and we knew if she got in there or on the road that that it would be a quick end. It increased the panic! I was envisioning picking up my oldest from school and breaking the news of the bunny's doom.  I was trying to get sections of the yard bunny proofed so that she could not escape out those areas but she was fast. She did get out onto the road but the girls managed to herd her into the other neighbors yard that is well fenced and dogless. In the end we did manage to get the laundry basket on top of her and through a series of maneuvers we did get her back in her cage. It took some twist ties, a towel, carrying her cage all the way to the neighbors yard and back again but we did it! We are now recovering from the adrenaline rushes and the bunny is recovering from her near brush with death. She is also very firmly in her cage with no hope of escape! During our rescue mission the baby happily ate my sisters porridge and wrapped himself up in blankets and my five year old found the missing keys. It all ended well. Today is my sisters birthday and my parents anniversary. It is cloudy and cool outside and homeschooling is well under way. Happy Monday!

Surround Yourself With People Who Care

   I was pregnant at both my sister's weddings and, oddly enough, I was nine months pregnant at both their weddings ~ years apart ~ needless to say I wore the same dress! My sister Laura had asked me to be her maid of honor and I (selfishly) declined because I was trying to have as stress free of a pregnancy as possible. When she asked me to do a speech at her wedding I also declined because I would have my two children there and I was so pregnant and she already had so many people speeching. However somehow our wires got crossed and she did not quite hear that message. The night before I had this weird premonition that that would be a possibility so I hauled my pregnant body off the bed and wrote her a letter that could also be used as as a speech. The day of the wedding dawned beautifully and since my daughter was a flower girl and son a flower boy we started getting ready. The wedding was held in breathtaking gardens and the it was perfect. Then we went to the reception. At the reception things did not go so smoothly for us. My son had a massive panic attack that lasted a very long time. I was outside of the venue in a courtyard trying to soothe him and missed the buffet dinner. Finally when he was calm his Nana (no direct relation to the bride or groom) offered to take him home along with his sister. He was actually willing to go and so I was relieved (so say the least) to have them go and I could finally get off my feet. When I walked back in I realized all the food had been packed away but I was so hungry. I begged the caterers to let me have some food and although they would not let me in the kitchen to choose some, a very sweet server loaded (and I mean loaded) up a plate for me. So there I am with my nine month belly walking to the front of many tables to sit down and eat (while everyone is finished eating and speeches are commencing). It is one of those moments you hope to be slightly inconspicuous. However just as I sat down and took my first bite all of a sudden I heard my name being called through the mike. I realized that oh, look at that, I was being called on to give a speech! So I stood up and with a totally full mouth headed to the microphone. I gulped down the bite and tried to gather my totally scattered thoughts thanking the good Lord that last night I had written out some thoughts! I did not have them with me of course but I hoped something would come back to me. I am not a speech giver by any means and when I was in high school if I ever had to give a speech I would be incredibly nervous. I think because I had absolutely no warning, and because I really did think I was not giving a speech, after I had swallowed my massive mouthful of food and looked out at the crowd I felt completely fine. I started off with a story highlighting how different my sister and I were and how I had always been the safe one. She had been fiery and exciting and dramatic. In the end though the theme of my speech was 'surround yourself with people who care.' I chose that because she used to make me little inspirational posters for my wall and one of them had a quote saying that.  In the end I think I gave an epic speech and it was because it came straight from my heart.
    When I gave this speech to my sister I was saying, surround yourself by people who care...but really I was saying ~ surround yourself by people who really see you. I felt like I had a bit of an idea of what marriage was like and I knew that it was not going to be easy ~ because what marriage ever is. I wanted her to be cared for and happy. I wanted her to feel supported and validated. I was saying surround yourself by people who really hear you. Surround yourself by people who cheer you on. Surround yourself by people who bring out the best in you, who you can have fun with, who allow you to shine, who encourage you and uplift you. It might not be very many people ~ it might only be one! That is all you need :) Now my sister is approaching the day where she will be holding her new baby in her arms. I feel like once again, I have paved the way and once again, it is not an easy road. So I'll say it once again ~ surround yourself with people who care ~ it will make all the difference and it will help you hold your head high and be the best mother you can be. xo

                          That look on her face says it all! Fiery determination and strength.

I am just relieved I got through the speech without my water breaking. I had my baby twelve days later.

                                               And now here she is ~ almost six year later. 

                                                I am so excited to be an aunty for the first time.

Happy Birthday To Leenie

   Aaahhhhh (that is a happy sigh) it is Sunday. I am sitting in a pocket of sunshine in my dining room with my foot 'elevated.' Since I have given myself permission to stop attending church and to attempt to rest on Sundays the sunny days are soothing and the quiet as everyone else is at church is perfect for my nerves. My foot has this random infection which landed me in the ER last night to make sure I was not going to have to have it cut off at some point in life. I am being super dramatic by the way because it is not really badly infected.  Now I have my antibiotics prescription and the orders to ice and elevate and rest so my bases are covered.
    This week is a big one for my family of origin in that my parent's wedding anniversary is tomorrow and they are going to be thirty five. We got them a special gift this year and they are going away for a couple nights. However one year on their anniversary they received the most precious and special gift any parent could ever ask for and that was a baby girl they named Collena Kathryn. Tomorrow my sister turns another year older. She is the definition of a lot of words ~ creativity, perseverance, survival, sweetness, compassion, strength and much more.
   Recently our family received some rather shocking news but it helped put together pieces of the puzzle that we have always been missing for us. My siblings all suffer from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It is a genetic disease that affects collagen formation in your body. It is characterized by many things but the doctors generally start by looking for double jointedness and stretchy skin. Every child in an affected family has a fifty fifty chance of getting it and everyone can get it to different degrees. I dont seem to have it but all my four siblings do. My April 11th sister has it the most seriously. It has affected so many areas of her life.She has had to fight from her beginning to live.  She has had to endure so much physical and emotional pain. She has had to decide every day to keep going and to not give up. She is an incredibly creative and talented girly. She sings amazingly, plays any instrument she puts her mind to, can dance like no one else in our family can, and writes songs that most could only dream of, and really is someone that could do anything she put her mind to. Her sickness has often tried to shackle her but every single time she has overcome. As humans we often try to down play or think we can comprehend what someone else is going through, but as we get older hopefully we realize that we can't. We offer words of advice tritely or in empathy but often they are empty to the one we are giving it to. She has had to endure this more than most of us and from people that should have known better. She has been so mistreated professionals that she should have been able to trust. She has had to try to hurtle mountains higher than are imaginable and go through valleys that none should ever have to.
   Every person has their own journey, their way of seeing life, their way of coping, and I would have to say that my sister is one of the best. She rises with the sun and she shines with the stars. She loves with her soul and she gives from her heart. I think each year that the world is gifted with her presence is a year that the world is especially blessed.  Leenie ~ you are a treasure ~ Have a Happy Birthday tomorrow ~ all my love~ xo

Yard Photos

A Tulip Conference

  A gathering of Tulips ~ altogether in once place ~ to think that at one time these were sacred and precious and worth unfathomable wealth. I think that this is a testament as to why.

A Treasure All My Own

   April ~ the month I arrived in the world. I was the first born. My parents tell me how my dad took my mom on a motor cycle ride to try to induce labor and how eventually though, it was walking up and down hills in beautiful gardens that enticed me into this world. I can't help but think maybe it was because my mom actually relaxed for a few minutes  in enjoying the Spring's offerings and I felt like I could brave a new world. I was born cautious, careful and alert. I knew life was going to need to be navigated rather than embraced and excitedly explored. After my mom braved labor and birthed me to my first breath I was layed on her stomach. She tells me that I lifted my head and smiled at her. I feel like I was already letting her know that I had heard all the tears, and I had cried along with her.I was letting her know I would not fail her. I already was trying to fill her heart with assurance.
   That April I was the one that introduced my mother to motherhood. She rocked me, nursed me, sang lullabies and dreamed. I helped ease the sting of some wounds. I was a very easy baby and helped my mom feel like a very capable lovely mother. I never crawled or was very busy although later I think I made up for it all by talking early and never stopping. However there is something to be said for our beginnings. They shape us more than we give credit for. The pregnancy our mother had, the connection we were allowed with her, the feelings she felt ~ they all affect us deeply for a life time. They are the beginning threads that weave through the tapestry of our life. I like to remember these pieces of me when April comes around.
  I am thankful for the family I was born in. I am thankful for my mother. I am thankful I was born in April during a time of color, beauty, nature's rejoicing and renewal. As silly as it may sound to some who have maybe never celebrated themselves fully ~ I like to think of every day of April like my birthday. A day to remember where I came from and who I am. I like to get myself little treasures and be kinder to myself, to remind myself that I am a treasure all my own.