A Little Summertime Memory

   I have a husband with a very bright busy mind and so he is always thinking. Sometimes the thoughts he thinks gets him things and one of those times it got him a boat! He was working for a restoration company that restored buildings after any sort of disaster. This one time a cabin on a lake was damaged by trees falling on it and this cabin was only accessible by way of water. It was hard, near impossible, to rent a boat that would allow its' use to be one of construction tools and equipment hauling so...my husband did a bit of research and figured out what it would cost to rent a boat out for the amount of time it would be needed and then approached his company. He proposed he buy a boat and he would rent it to them. They agreed. He bought a boat for the amount he would receive to rent it out to his company and we all of a sudden had a good sized speed boat.
  Through my growing up years my grandpa had a sail boat he took us out on whenever he could and we were used to going out on this one lake. Naturally we gravitated to this lake when we took the speed boat out. Speed boat. Have you ever been on one? One that is quite big? Well I never had.
  It was a shock. It went to fast, it was so loud, the wind was so strong and I felt like my bones were being jarred out of my body. So SO vastly different then sailing across the water. We had it for a summer. Maybe we will sound really spoiled and it is probably because we are, but we didn't keep the boat. The destinations were exquisite and beautiful but the GETTING TO the destinations was so far from enjoyable that deep down we knew it was just not for us. So we sold the boat.
  However, it is wonderful outside right now. Winter wonderland. There are people cross country skiing in the field across the road from us as I write and earlier there were children sliding down the small hill in the field. I love it a lot, but today I wish I was on the lake in grandpa's sail boat. I don't know why but I do. The vastness of the water. The wind in the sails. The heat of the sun but cool of the breeze and the list goes on.... Here are some pictures from one of our speed boat adventures just to give you a taste of why we love that lake so much.

One of the islands has this waterfall my grandpa used to take us to to play and there was a cabin someone set on fire causing a major fire on the island. We went to explore.

I hope your January is going well so far. It is the the 9th already! The year is going to fly by. Each day holds promise and opportunities. Have a great  rest of your Monday.
Love Tansy

Dawn

   My house is filled with golden light. The wood paneled walls look warm and illuminated. I am so thankful for natural light. Today it gives me strength and hope. Last night the wind screamed around our home. I lay awake terrified. It was weird because I have not felt like that for a long time but I was so scared. It howled and screamed and crashed and I think I was worried a tree was going to fall on our house or just something bad was going to happen. The baby was up crying and could not seem to swallow properly. I could not see sores in his mouth and so I am assuming his throat is sore. My little six year old was up because of the wind and because she is getting a cold sore, and then at around three in the morning (I had already been up since at least two but not really gotten sleep before that either) my nine year old started vomiting. The first night we moved in this house the vomiting started with my six year old and through the weeks we have been here everyone but the baby and I and my sister have vomited. I have fought it tooth and nail but have still been sick (I just dont throw up easily) but no one was as sick as my son is right now in that department. His dad was carrying him to the bathroom as he couldn't make it there himself and I have been doing laundry and doing laundry and now the dark of night is gone. He is still so sick but the vomiting has subsided in intensity so he can rest for longer stretches. The baby seems to be in not as much pain and my parents are coming with groceries because my fridge is pretty empty and I no flue fighting hydrating supplies. This is the reality of being a mother and the more harsher reality. However I am so thankful today that it is not pouring rain. The sun is shining, the snow is being blown around shimmering and whirling in the light. A far off weeping willow tree dances in the wind and tall old trees bow in honor of the power of the wind but stand strong, roots buried deep. I want roots buried deep. I will not let everything that is howling around us right now physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally to break me. I will bend yes, my shoulders hunched, my eyes red with tiredness but I have weathered far stronger storms and onwards and upwards I will go forward today.
I hope you have a lovely day
xo

Happy New Year ~ 2017!!

  What is hope that fills your heart and lights up your soul - that keeps your soul flame burning? What is your hope? Everyone in some way shape or form finds the gift of hope given from different things. Sometimes it is that perfect cup of coffee, or the smile of a stranger, the light of a candle on a dark day, a gift from a dear friend that is totally perfect for you, sometimes it is the blue sky or a moment of beauty that sears you deeply, feeling truly loved, feeling safe, accepted and known. Hope is vital to life. Without hope we perish and it is visible in our eyes, the windows of our souls when this death is taking place. There have been times in my life where I felt that things were bleak and my outlook held very little hope. I was joking to my sister just the other day about how if she needed advice about cancer, miscarriage, children with special needs, adoption, marital issues, attachment issues, loss and grief...I had her covered and we laughed.. but it reminded me that there were so many hours I felt void of color. I felt so dark inside and dead and so very sad and it was awful.
  Right now in my life that is not the case. I feel like I am rising from ashes and it has been such a slow process. I am resting more easily inside, the anxiety doesn't grip quite as intensely and I feel like I am laughing more. I don't want to take this forgranted. I have no idea what this next year will hold. I usually dread what another year holds. I don't feel prepared for all the challenges and needs but as this new year arrives I am trying to focus on just today. I hope as this next year starts for you no matter where you are at in your life ~  that whether you are brimming with hope or there is just the tiniest seed buried deep ~ that this year will bless you with good. That the surprises, the challenges, the dark and light will not see you overwhelmed and hopeless. May the peace that passes all understanding guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.
God bless you and Happy New Year xo Tansy
 

December Happenings

    We have lived in our new home since December 10th and during that time there has been a lot of happiness in my heart. I feel hope in a new way. It is hard to explain but for me the light coming in my window, the space for my children to roam, all the little touches in this house that makes me feel right, I feel like a bit of my guard is down and just maybe a time of healing has come...it is wonderful to feel that hope.
  During this 'Christmas break' my oldest was quite sick. School has really been a strain on her and as soon as she had a break her body fell apart. I am sure the move did not help matters. She was valiant through it all. The other children all took turns getting a mild flue and vomiting...christening the house I guess. I have not gotten much sleep but have taken mornings slow and have rested as much as I could between a LOT of unpacking and Christmas baking and cooking and cleaning and the other things that life entails for me.
  Here are pictures because, I love pictures, and so a big part of my blog is therefore that :)

                  A new discovery was food coloring in snow. They thought it was pretty amazing.

We have a very old dishwasher and it is not my sister!!!! It cant fit our plates and cutlery so we are doing a lot of dishes by hand and really we dont mind all that much.

The first night we were here and two nights afterwards this rat was at my kitchen window eating nuts that the previous owner had left there. It was very tame and calm....not all that reassuring for me as mice and rats are NOT my favorite.

  Each year we ride on a little Christmas Train one of the stores in our town sets up. The older children are maybe getting a bit old for it but the younger ones are still wowed and feel the magic. My parents faithfully accompany us every year as well.

This little guy enjoyed `Kismis` as he called it, so much this year! He keeps us on our toes. He is all or nothing at age two and talks constantly unless he is sleeping.

Grandma and Grandpa took pity on my oldest as she was so sick and brought her a Gingerbread house to decorate. This was so kind and really helped her feel better for a while. She kindly let her siblings help.

The boquet is from new neighbors. This neighborhood is filled with friendly kind people which is so amazing. My oldest came up with this cookie idea.. double chocolate chip cookies with white chocolate drizzled on top and crushed candy cane. They were delicious!

                                    The view from my living room window....Be still my heart!!

Sunshine in my window. I have missed this so much and am so thankful to have this again!!!!!

Mail From Germany

   Back in grade ten I met a girl named Julianne who came to our school for a while. She came from Germany. Through the years we have stayed in touch and then lost touch and then came back in touch. I cherish our friendship for many reasons but one of them is the fact that we send actual letters to each other through the mail. Sometimes, at the best possible time for me, she sends me packages in the mail. They always ALWAYS come when I need to feel cared for and like I am worth time and effort! They bless me so much. This year she took so much time to wrap and label packages for the advent calendar she sent us a couple year ago. The children were so excited. She made sure to send us all things that worked with our healthy diet. This added special excitement to each day for my children and helped us anticipate Christmas Day in a really lovely way.
Thank you my dear friend!!! You are a treasure!