My Baby Turned Three

My baby has turned three. For three years I have been his mom and I am thankful every day.


Every year my aunties send my children birthday cards. Here he is so excited to open his birthday cards the morning of his birthday.

                              He really loves popcorn and so we bought him a couple different kinds.

                                          His oldest sister got him gussied up for the occasion

                                Here he is with his siblings and special guests having a pre dinner snack

                                                         Corn on the cob and popcorn!!!!

His grandparents friends and siblings look on as he opens his gifts..or is helped to open them! Look at that couch!!! I have had it for fourteen years and it was probably a third hand gift. It is STILL holding on. I usually have it covered but wow!!!

  
                               His sister and friend graciously assisted in the gift opening

His name sake, my dad, brought him his blueberry cake that he had specifically requested so mommy made. Everyone is singing and my oldest is videotaping the moment.

                          He is so excited to blow those candles out and he blew all three out at once!

And this is us at the end of a long day. I am nursing him to sleep like I have almost every night for the three years he has been on this earth.

   Children are the most precious gifts. That might not be the general consensus out there in the world, but don't kid yourself. Every single child is a treasure and a gift and I am so so so SO thankful that I have been gifted my four. I hope for more I really do. Happy birthday my sweet boy!!!!!

That last week of August

   Here where I live the children don't go back to school until after Labor Day. We are in our last week of Summer freedom! My three oldest went for a swim today at the local outdoor pool (compliments of their Nana) and my little three year old (he had a birthday) and I went and ran errands. It was just the two of us. He had a soother in his mouth and just snuggled me as much as he could the whole time because he is tired. He still snuggles me. I can still scoop him up and hold him. I am so thankful because this week would be the week I would be birthing a new baby, and having the option of scooping up and snuggling my current baby is a precious gift I do not take forgranted. I was not due until September 3rd which is the day I lost my very first baby( back when I was twenty two) but I typically give birth early. I probably would have somehow held my body off from giving birth any earlier because I would have wanted to get my three year old's birthday celebrated, and I would probably have tried to wait for the weekend.

 Who knows if it would have worked, but no matter what would have happened...it is not happening now. I gave birth months ago in my bathroom, alone, doubled over by contractions, breathing through them and rocking back and forth in agony ~ just overcome. It was what it was ~  miscarriage. My mid wife was so matter of fact on the phone when I let her know what I thought was happening. She never called me to see if one had happened for sure or if I was okay. It is all pretty standard I guess ~ this type of loss. Yet to the person it is happening to ~ it is a completely unique heartbreak. Thankfully the doctor I saw the day before it all happened was incredibly kind and I needed that. I needed to feel like I mattered. He was the one that assured me I didn't need to go to the hospital (that would have made everything so much worse for me as hospitals are very hard places for me to be) unless certain things happened and that was why I chose to miscarry at home (I had had my suspicions that I was miscarrying and I was due for an ultra sound the day I miscarried).

  It is long done and yet there are lingering affects from it. It was all so unexpected.

 Today I was just thinking about the process of labor and delivery and how my birth with my three year old was. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I felt SO loved and supported. I had not felt like that in a long time and it was such a good reminder. It was also something to hold onto. When I 'gave birth' this time around to a tiny tiny baby I was alone. I was not alone for long mind you...sweet and loving friends came to love me and it was amazing. However there was that time of being totally alone and it was so remarkably different than before. That feeling has stayed with me as well.

  In my life I hope as time goes on that I can be there for others. The girls at my birth with my three year old, all my friends who showered me with love after losing my last baby...they helped me through. It is this love, this support, that is God's love in the flesh. We all deserve this love. We have this love from God ~ we really do ~ and when it is given here on earth from one human to another ~ it has power to heal in such deep ways. I guess maybe is what I am attempting to say is ~ don't forget the power your love can have ~ your love that flows through you from Jesus.

Have a wonderful weekend
Love Tansy


Here he is in all his blessed three year old glory ~ all dressed up for his birthday party by his older sister.

Here I am snuggling and nursing him on his three year old birthday. None of my other children nursed past one and a half years old. These special moments of connection have been a balm for my heart this last while.

Our Little Holiday (4)

  One of the days we were on the island we met up with my aunty at Butchart Gardens. This place blows my mind. At one time this property was part of a limestone quarry. A limestone quarry! And one woman looked at that quarry and she saw a garden. This is the result.

                                            This is looking down into the old quarry!!!

  So the moral of this little post is...if you are a limestone quarry right now...barren, made of stone...grey and oh so dry...lifeless. THIS could be your future!!!! You need tender loving care, seeds planted and tended, and sunshine, light and water...and you will BLOOM!!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Our Little Holiday (3)

  Our friend's bought a ten acre property last year on Vancouver Island. It is sort of my dream property. I fell in love. It is so beautiful! My children felt so happy and free there. They did not even think to ask to watch a movie and they had a great time collecting eggs, swimming in the river, making up plays, swinging and so much more. They packed a whole lot into two full days of farm life.

                                                               This is their driveway

                                   The house with all our wet towels from river swimming

                                                                 This is Charley.

                                                                Their dreamy barn

                                                              The chicken yard

                                                         The neighbor's field

                             The two houses together with the mountain in the background

These two girls became best best friends instantly. It was the most precious precious thing to behold. They are both middle children and they just understood each other's hearts.

                         We don't have a trampoline so this was  a big exciting treat for him

                                     Some how rope swings are always the best swings aren't they?

    Their pond and all our seven children around it plus some parents. My friend and I have known each other since we were eight. We have been through some really hard things together and there are little ones missing in this picture that we will again see some day up in heaven. When I see a picture like this I think about them and love them so much too!!!

                                               Little friends just five weeks apart in age

                                                           This sweet girl is so adorable

                                                       Three generations in this picture

                                               He LOVED horse back riding. Who knew!!!!

                  The dad's earnestly chatting about? Maybe this wood shed that is being constructed.

                                            We ate every meal beside the garden

                                                        Time to head to the swimming hole!

I went riding! My first time in YEARS (I owned a horse back in the day when I was twelve!) as you may be able to tell by my expression...I was a bit unsure but it all came back to me and I had a wonderful ride.

                                                   They have an outhouse...of course

                         This is their chicken house...I just can't even handle all the beauty!!!!!

The littles are preparing to watch a play put on by the three oldest as grandparents and parents stand to watch as well

             And this is the play they constructed a stage from the summer kitchen and a sheet

All in all seriously this place was just manna from heaven for my soul. I am so thankful we went. We were so blessed.