And March Has Come

   March has arrived and today so has the sun. I feel like it is the sun that has been 'hiding' for a few months. Even on sunny days in the last few months the light has not been like this nor has the air or atmosphere felt like this. It is that Spring feeling where the grey and pall and 'death' of winter starts to peel away and a new layer of life and energy starts to unfurl and bloom. It is one of the very best feelings. My children have been sick for weeks now. There is nothing really definite but just a lingering unwellness. This affects our abilities to feel happy and positive and creative and hinders our school work and everything else. I am ready, oh so ready, for Spring children if that makes any sense. The Winter children have worn me to my marrow. Therefore I am so so thankful for this sunshine!

  Have you had a hard winter? This winter has been okay for me. Last winter was a nightmare and because this winter wasn't last winter, I felt like it was so much more bearable, if that makes any sense. Last winter was very very hard to recover from. I feel like this Spring is going to be so beautiful for me because I can actually enjoy it so much more as there wont be a pall of grief and continual exhaustion just hanging over my head. I made it through, as can you, through that hard winter I mean. I have made it through so many hard seasons. Sometimes my head has been bowed low, shoulders hunched, for months on end. I have felt pretty dead inside. Getting out of bed, choosing to eat good food, socializing, having the energy to exercise...all of that was very very hard for me. Other times I have been able to rise up and feel blessed, call myself blessed, for I am.

  You are too. You are blessed. If you don't feel so right now, that is okay. You don't need to. You don't have to feel happy all the time. If you have or are going through very hard things it is okay to grieve. Our society doesn't really agree with the grieving process. It doesn't love reality or realness. It wants you to move on, get your head up, your mask on right and present that smile you are supposed to have. I totally disagree. Grieving is not bitterness or laziness either; is taking time to recover from a time of intense stress and maybe trauma. So maybe you need to be giving yourself a mental break, a physical break, and just taking a lot of Epsom salt baths, drinking a lot of water with lemon and honey, taking your children to the park to play if you have some, maybe you need fresh flowers on your table every week, lots of nourishing soups maybe someone else could make for you? Maybe you need someone to talk to regularly for a while each week, to pray with you, or just listen. Beautiful music soothes the soul...maybe play that and just let your body know you understand, you hear it, you empathise and you care. Sit by water, sit in meadows, take time for quiet. You are allowed to take time to heal, to grieve, to feel and it might take a while. That is okay. You are still blessed, still loved, and still here.

Sending you love
Tansy