A Most Special Moment

I SHOULD be asleep. It is so hard to decide what is best.  A little moment of quiet where I madly type or laying down on the couch to maybe get a bit of sleep before my little guy needs me. I am choosing typing right now because I never want to forget today. Today...oh today. It had such a special moment. I have this little eight year old. Well he isn't so little anymore. He has very long gangly legs and a shy little grin and since I'm short he will pass me soon enough. He is so skinny and tall. He has had some unique challenges in life so far. He was my first full term pregnancy but he came after I had had to have chemo after cancer I had in my uterus as a result of a miscarriage. My pregnancy with him was really stressful and hard for many reasons. This little man was born with so much anxiety he couldn't digest anything and he has struggled with a lot of gut pain and anxiety since birth. He has faced a lot of other physical struggles as well but needless to say just getting out of our home and living a normal life has been a massive challenge for him. I was a very anxious and insecure mother for him because I had not clue what was wrong with him and with him being my first new born I had no clue what was normal or not. I did not have good doctors who really listened to me, and with the amount of screaming he did, and the no sleep I got, things were pretty rough. Fast forward to today. Today. Oh my word today! Today my eight year old participated in a mud obstacle course race with his older sister and his best friend. For him to do this is amazing on every level imaginable. I mean just the mud alone would have been impossible for him to handle not that long ago because of issue to do with textures. Then there is the fact that it was an obstacle course with different heights. His former terror of heights did not even let his father pick him up in his arms until not too long ago. This little one couldn't swing on swings or climb trees because he was so scared. He was able to balance on a balance beam and he handled the fact that it was raining and cold. He was wet and muddy (and if his shirt gets even a bit wet he MUST change ~ but today he was soaked and filthy and no panic). There were many people there and there was loud music. He had cried the night before all of a sudden just burst into tears saying he just could not do it. I had told him that it was fine he did not have to. We would just all go and if he wanted to do it he could but if it felt like too much he didn't have to. When he got up this morning he told me had had pinky sworn his best friend he would do it so he had too.He said he COULD NOT break a pinky swear.  He said this with such seriousness and his eyes behind his glasses were so solemn. His lip trembled but he put on his minion shirt (they were team minions) and his too small swim shorts that he has had since he was four, and his sandals and winter coat and headed resolutely out the door. When we got there the rain started to pour down and his little legs looked so bare and cold. I wondered if he would be able to do it. Well he did it no problem! He joined the big group of about fifty children (this little one still wont go to Sunday School and homeschools because of anxiety ~ large groups and noise he cant handle at all) and they did their jumping jacks in the pouring rain and then started off. His dad ran beside his team and he had his sister and friend for support but he did it by himself (no one holding his hand). He slogged through a lot of mud, climbed huge tires and balanced on logs, he ducked under things and made it through rope mazes (and for him to be able to do this with his depth perception issues ~ this little one couldn't even walk down stairs normally until a year ago ~ is a miracle) he climbed a high obstacle and went over and down the other side by himself, he ran through a massive water obstacle past his knees, he just did everything he needed to do. After he was done he was shaking with cold (he even had a small bleeding cut which just a couple months ago would have sent him into total panic mode) and he was so proud I could barely handle it I was so happy. He said quietly to himself ~ 'I will never forget this day ~ as he donned his first medal. I am so proud of him I could burst. This moment in our lives is something I hope every parent gets to have with their little one no matter what the situation. He felt victorious. He told me how he had done everything 'by himself!' Every one, at some point, needs a moment like this. Well today my little eight year old had his moment. It was amazing. Thanks Em (my neighbor and friend) for encouraging us to sign up for this. It was such a wonderful moment for our whole family xo