Dawn

This morning when dawn broke I cried. I just crumbled. The babe slept in my arms. My rib was out from the awkward position of hours of holding. He is teething and its taking a long time. He is sick also and so he just needed me. He needed to be nursed for hours and to be held and he needed me. I wished he needed someone else to be honest. My arms were so tired, my body felt numb, my eyes burned like fire. The night is often long and it is always dark. The hours seem endless and it seems like such a lonely time. It seems like its been years of lonely nights for me. I felt such relief when the light came this morning. I think its important to remember this when our hearts are filled with dark, and it feels like the light of the morning will never come. When we are worn and our eyes burn from crying, and it has felt like years of weary ~ the light always comes. Day always comes. It has never failed me yet. Today I fell asleep sitting up while writing in my journal. I felt hazy and my writing didn't make sense and I could not spell. I couldn't digest my food properly and I just had all the signs I recognize now as deep exhaustion. However, I was able to nap today and regroup a bit before another night began. Right now the baby is actually asleep and so I will once again lie down on the couch. One child has already made his bathroom stumble through the house. The other child fell asleep very late. I think I just might be able to sleep for a bit. I just want to keep this in mind.

 Morning, the newness of dawn, it always comes. It shines through and the night just melts away. You know it was just there, you know how lonely and tired and hopeless you felt, but there is something about the dawn. ~ Hope in our hearts that we must not let go. 'Light breaks forth like the dawn and our healing quickly appears.'Isaiah 58:8