The Second Ballet Class

  I had my second ballet class last night. The last two days leading up to this class I have felt off. I was sick with the flue on the weekend just for one day. Monday and Tuesday (ballet day as I now call Tuesday) I felt weak. It is weird. I am ridiculously tired. So exhausted. I feel shaky and dizzy and like my heart is beating harder than normal. I am eating every couple hours, trying to make sure to have lots of protein and cutting down sugar so maybe my body can't handle the not as much sugar as normal. I usually get through life on sugar. So ballet day I was feeling horrible. All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep and just rest my body but I can't do that with three children at home. So I got through. My wonderful husband came home to work in his shop so he picked up my daughter from school and I got the other children to their class and then picked them up, got dinner done etc but all day I was telling myself I couldn't go to ballet. Even right now my arms are almost shaking just from typing because my body is so weak. After dinner I collapsed in bed for a while before I was going to decide whether to go or not.
  My sister is gone for the week so she was not coming, but another friend was just starting the class this week as she was sick last week so she was coming over so I could show her all our moves we learned last week. As I was laying in bed I got a text from another friend that goes to ballet that she was not going to go because she was collapsed on the couch shaking and so exhausted. Being a mother to children who struggle from different issues is incredibly hard and her and I understand each other on those levels. Our bodies are so DONE from the constant stress it takes to keep everyone going. I encouraged her to come to ballet just to sit on a chair and watch and to get out of the house. I knew I would go even if I couldn't dance (that was what I had decided). She just couldn't do it. So my other friend came over and I weakly attempted to show her the moves I had tried to practice throughout the week. I then nursed the baby for the twentieth time that day, cleaned up some dinner plates and got in my dancing outfit and ate something sugary. Then Emily from across the road came over and we all drove together. When I got there I started to feel a bit stronger. The ladies were 'tapping' up above and the building was freezing cold and the energy there was a bit electric! I wish I could explain it better. The two new girls (my friend and her friend) signed up and payed and then we were all waiting for the tap girls to finish and just chatting. Eventually we were able to head up to the studio and I was already feeling stronger. I just started stretching as one girl was asking my friend (Emily) who has all the 'real' ballet attire where she had got it from and my newest friend there was saying she had no idea what to stretch and I really couldn't remember so we were stretching our feet. As everyone happily chatted and stretched I could feel myself feeling stronger. It is so fun to see how excited everyone was. I heard my one friend ask another if she was on 'team tutu' which means...is she going to get a tutu to dance in :) There are a couple girls on 'team tutu' now. We did new things in class and some of the moves we did last week got more complicated. I really could not do them but I could understand what was being done so I think I can tell myself that is good. We are all realizing that ballet is about making things look effortless that are incredibly complicated. You have to remember about fifteen things just about your posture and head position before you even execute a move! However there was this moment where we were doing this move at the bar where we were in  second position and our arm sweeps down and brushes the floor and comes up and we lean back with it above our head and the our arm comes out and down beside us and we follow it with our heads and eyes and it looked so beautiful! We were supposed to watch ourselves in the mirror and I think that was the ballerina moment for the whole class. We looked so graceful and beautiful. When we left the two newest girls were bubbling over so happy and once again I was smiling and I felt alive. Today I am struggling to even just walk around but last night I am so glad I got out and did ballet. It was wonderful.