October's Gifts

  October is an absolutely stunning month where I live. The leaves turn the most vivid hues of scarlett and tangerine and gold and the greens are dusky and deep. The skies can be the most vibrant blues and the sun warm but the wind cold, or the skies are scudding clouds and rain pours down. It's a volatile month of wonder and wondering if coats are needed and feeling house bound and listening to the wind. 

  We just celebrated a birthday here yesterday. My daughter turns fifteen this week and her party was yesterday. It was a wet day and we were inside. We had ten extra people upstairs in the house and it was such a happy time. We tie dyed shirts and ate together. Celebrating with others is such a beautiful opportunity and it is also potentially a lot of work and kindness and effort sewn together. For this birthday I made two cakes. They both were chocolate but one was gluten free and one was not. My oldest daughter helped me make a chocolate mousse for the filling and I made a chocolate icing for the top. It was simple and flavourful and delicious but it also felt like a lot of work which must be why I felt like I needed to mention it. The choice to tie dye was reminiscent of my daughter when she was younger. Her style was all her own and often she wore tie dye. Now she prefers loose t shirts, jeans, runners and keeps things a bit more blah as maybe the world and its opinions has taken its toll as it so often does. 

  Remembering back to my labor with her (she was my second biological child) is very happy for me. I was actually in labor all the day before she was born but told myself repeatedly that it was just Braxton hicks. She was almost two weeks early. It was a very long day as I had a three hour doctors appointment with my oldest son and had to run up and down the room with him. The doctor questioned me if I was maybe in labor and I said no! I woke up sometime in the night realizing the contractions were still happening and realized I must be in labor. I eventually ended up going to the hospital and she was born in the afternoon. My birth experience with her was so vastly different than my first birth experience. It was not without trauma but honestly the amount of support and kindness I had during the birth mitigated the trauma so much that I never think of that when I think about birthing her. I remember the woman gathered around me that comforted me and held me and stayed with me through emergency surgery and other moments of panic. I had maybe never felt so loved in that way before. It changed me.

 So as October 2025 fills your soul or excavates it. As the days march along and the weather here is moody and beauty and we start to cozy in, I hope that you have experiences like that that you can reflect on and in a sense, relive.

 There are precious precious gifts in memories that we may not take time to treasure. I can remember how my daughter cuddled up on my chest after she was born and how filled with wonder I was. I can remember the drive to the hospital with the midwife and how kind and amazed she was at my peace during the contractions. I remember the vibrance of the grass and leaves as I walked and walked around the little pond at the hospital to keep contractions going, and I remember the absolute shock at my bodies reaction when my water was broken and my little girls started to shoot out of my body without my needing to push at all! I may not always have this gift of remembering as I age. I pray that I do. I want to appreciate it in all its fullness. Oh the blessings I have received for the last fifteen Octobers in having this child in my life. 

Thankyou

Life And It's Loveliness

The view out my bedroom window

She was quiet and I panicked. We were looking for her in my bedroom but she was sitting calmly in the living room with her hand deep in a jar of peanut butter. It was all over the place and she was so happy.

My front entry way was rough concrete and dangerous for almost two years. It had been full of mold underneath the flooring that had been there and that was why it had been ripped up. My husband found free flooring and got it in this weekend. I am so thankful for a safe front entry way again.

                                               Autumn mornings are misty and beautiful.

                         Here are the children working with Drew on the front entry way.

A precious moment at the wedding we just attended where the sweet bride hugged my son who she tutored for three years and is the reason he graduated. She is a gem of a human.

 

                                                   My friend's ducks who are so adorable.

                                              My grand baby who is growing up so quickly.

                                        This sweet soul ~ the sweetest soul that ever was.

      This baby boy usually has hair sticking straight up. It was so funny to see him looking bald.

                                                               Sisters and their aprons :)

                                            Proof his hair is usually sticking straight up :)

                     Life is usually chaotic here and he is a kind gentle brother through it all.

                                                This is my legacy. I love them so so SO much.

                                                                              My heart 

Saying a difficult goodbye to a sweet soul that I homeschooled last year and who was at our house almost every day.

Life is so precious and holds so much beauty

xo
 

Autumn 2025

  The corn field across the road is glorious and they are cutting it as I write.

 A few days ago we took some kites to another field of freshly cut corn and flew them gloriously. It was my idea to do this which felt triumphant. It started with just my husband and I and a few children but because of where we were soon there were a few other dads out with their children and their kites and then other neighbours, and it these moments of pure beauty that you want to always remember and cherish. 

  That particular day I had felt like I could not breathe at all. My body was heavy to the point of bone weary exhaustion from the mental emotional weight of my life. People suffering and hurting and needing and me not being able to do one thing really but wanting to so much! I felt like I couldn't manage. However, sitting by the field with the wide open blue skies framed by mountains, the children happy and free ~ nature does what it is meant to do. I went home feeling cleansed and lighter ~ able to breathe. It is so important to remember this. Nature was meant to nurture us. God created us to live in a garden and when life feels like we can't go on we need to spend as much time in nature as possible. I am extremely bad at this. It is actually a huge struggle on my part. However when I do get out there and just take a moment I am so thankful. 

  This Summer was hot and beautiful and I did my best to make it happy and memorable for my children. I worked hard and tried to rest as well. I now welcome Autumn and its beauty and look forward to cherishing the leaves turning, the colder days, and the bright sunshine before winter grey takes over. 

Bless you and whatever season you are in. May it hold hope and beauty alongside the suffering and pain we all experience.

Love Tansy

The Fall Fair September 2025

 It was that time again. The time for our family to go to the fall fair. I first attended this fair when I was a wee girl and I got to be IN the parade. My grandmother made a beautiful dress and sash for my little sister and I and my mom made posies out of tissue paper. We carried baskets and threw the flowers and it was a core memory for me. I remember with my little legs it was hard to keep up with the parade and yet I loved getting to be a part of it. This year the parade was especially precious because my grandson was there for the first time and he loved it so much. My oldest son did not want to be there but he dutifully attended and all my children were there. This year we had limited funds and so that made it even more special as we could appreciate the previous years when we could be more free in our spending. We brought our food and could not go on many rides but each tradition and each memory made meant so much to me. As I walked around the fair grounds I kept expecting to meet my mom or my grandparents there and to look up and see my sister and her family approaching. This year none of that happened and there were times my eyes welled up with tears so full of gratefulness that I had those memories from the past. 

  After the parade we troop over to the fair grounds. We go into the barn where the animals are and the children are showing their chickens, ducks, bunnies and guinea pigs, sheep and cows. We also go into the building where we had my grandmother's funeral and where everyone's pride and joys are displayed. We go on rides and either we swelter or we are soaked in rain every year :) This year we sweltered. The babies did so well and were so patient. We enjoyed it all.