The Birds and the Bees

I have been reading a book called, 'Becoming Myself ~ Embracing God's Dream of You' by Stasi Eldredge,

and its been teaching me some great things. I dont know about you but sometimes I'm pretty clueless. Like for example, I had this moment one time where I realized you had to clean the surface of your range hood (that is the thing above your stove, and I just had to ask my husband what the name was!!!). Yup I had never once thought about it. It was disgusting by the time a friend kindly asked if I was trying to break it by letting it get so dirty and I realized oh...yet another thing I have never realized I needed to clean. Another one was under my washer and dryer. Never, even, considered it!!!! I have had other moments where I have realized something pretty basic that I think most people just automatically know and for whatever reason I have missed the boat! Anyway something this book I have been reading talks about is what your personal experience was like when you hit puberty. My personal experience was weird to put it mildly. I got deathly ill, like I really almost died and in the midst of it I got my period. Doctors had no clue what was wrong and just when they were going to open me up and do surgery to try to figure out what was wrong I started to recover. This happened in the middle of a snow storm so we were snowed in and my uncle had to come get me in his truck as soon as he could get through and get me to the hospital. I had to be left there alone because my mom had to get back to the babies at home. The list goes on but needless to say getting my period was slightly insane and I literally almost died. In regards to the other parts of puberty I was given a book to read on my own and that was sort of it. I navigated awkwardly and was embarrassed as I was the oldest in a busy family. Some parts were horrible some were less horrible. I share this because of the questions in the book and what it opened my eyes to! It asked you to remember back to what your experience of stepping into woman hood was. Was puberty celebrated and rejoiced? Was it ignored or presented as a curse? The book then talks about the importance and beauty of being ushered into woman hood with honor and rejoicing. It talks about a girl and how her parents did numerous things for her that were symbolic and also nurturing as she became a teenager and entered into a time of life that can be confusing, emotionally scarring and also where you often feel so alone and misunderstood. I admit reading most of this book has been a challenge and has brought up a lot of things that have needed to be healed but I really felt ill equipped and overwhelmed in what I was to do for my daughter (s). My oldest is at the age where she needed the start of many conversations involving 'growing up.' Last year when I thought about this conversation I felt panic. Like I started crying. I felt so overwhelmed and that somehow I would mess it all up or not know what to say or would be awkward. So I started by emailing someone who has had three girls grow up to be jewels. She sent me back a sweet email that helped me feel more like a grown up and more calm about the whole thing. She also gave me some tips. Then as time went on I prayed that I would know the right moment to speak to my girl. She has been sheltered in some ways and so has her friends and so I knew if I talked to her at the wrong time it could just be that, wrong. Well this week at our friends I made a quick decision that now was the time. There was a tea shop where we were visiting that we had gone to together a year before and had had a very special mother/daughter time. I had already planned on taking her there anyway and it all came together perfectly. Our talk had moments of tears and moments of laughing, some was a bit awkward but really it was pretty cute. I know we need to have many more talks as the years go on but it was the start. It was perfect.  I guess I share this because maybe you have a daughter or daughters that you need to talk to or are going to need to talk to some day. Maybe you didn't have the celebration of womanhood that you deserved and you feel ill equipped to talk to your daughter. I want to encourage you to take the time and make the effort. They deserve to learn all they need to know from you. My husband was never even given a book and had to learn everything from peers. It was not a good experience. Our children deserve to feel strong and confident and prepared. They deserve to be celebrated and uplifted in a way maybe you never go to be. I had a simple book with some pictures that I read with her and that helped. It helped also that we picked her a special gift for her to put away for when she grew up and was out on her own. When we started talking she broke down and shared how terrified she was of growing up. Imagine if I had never talked to her! I am so glad I was able to push past myself and do what needed to be done not just for her but for me. I feel so much more comfortable now to face whatever is to come. I hope that you are able to feel the same way when you time comes to have 'the talk'  :) All the best xo

 We sat outside and had the beautiful patio to ourselves. We were literally surrounded by birds and bees :)