Thank you for coming here :)
Today I wish someone would call me and encourage me or someone would write me and encourage me and that is just the truth. I don't feel well. My children are children. That means they are messy, selfish, often thoughtless and lazy. They are also sweet, encouraging and giving. However this week their messy selfish sides have affected me a lot because I haven't been feeling all that well. Now that I am on week five with my husband being gone I am quite worn out. I feel like laundry and dishes and cooking (and honestly today it feels like drudgery) every single day is so maddening AND I look at my self in the mirror and I see that I am ageing. Sometimes that doesn't bother me at all, not one bit and other days I just dont want to see that. So today I thought what can I do? My house is a mess. I am on the verge of tears and my body feels so heavy and tired. The children are full of their usual energy which is happy; but I was thinking about all of YOU out there. I can't do much to change how I feel today but I am not alone in how I feel. I am not the only one. I think about my friends around the world. Some of you are pregnant and feeling ill and tired, some of you are feeling abandoned and oh so sad, some of you are sick and wishing just wishing for some one to really see your heart and see your worth and help you! Some of you have young babies, some of you are navigating marriage troubles. Some of you are working out of the home and some in and some both. Some of you are doing well and are so happy! We are in our thirties now most of us and we are worn with the cares that this stage of adult life brings and we just want someone to see us. Oh we have our glorious days but sometimes they are few and far between because there is much required of us. We were not prepared for all this because no one could prepare us.
We are often alone in our little worlds. We hope the sun shines so that the world is light. We hope to get a good sleep so we can face the day with just a bit more grace. We hope to feel connected to some person at some point in the day. We hope to give some light to someone else. We hope we can give out of our emptiness and we long to have more to give. We long to feel safe and loved and known.
So here we are in all our places and spaces and we are what we are.
And really we are amazing. Think about all you accomplish from the time you get out of bed till you go to it again. Are you growing a baby right now? Are you homeschooling? Are you nursing a baby? Are you working out of your home? Are you in school? Are you cooking, cleaning, running a household and mothering? Are you working on reconciliation? All these things we are doing every day is enough and it is good! It blows me away all the things my friends are accomplishing. I am so proud of you all!
I will be thinking of you and praying for you as I go and wash endless dishes, as I take out the stinking garbage and pick up toys. I will be loving you and hoping for hope for you and wishing for the best for you as I am here in my space and you are in yours.
Love to you
Tansy
MOOOM it's shake time!!!!! ❤️ Titus
ReplyDelete-hahaha love this, thanks for sharing. You can do this Tans!