There are so many moments now that I am thinking about them all...that feel like personal gifts to me from someone so much bigger than this world. This is one of those moments:
When I was young and we lived on Vancouver Island I saved up and bought a pony all my own. My parents were so kind in employing me so that I could pay for this pony and then also attempt to pay for her upkeep. This pony and I had a love hate relationship at first in that she hated me and I loved her. She ran away repeatedly and got into all sorts of trouble and would have been quite happy to kill me. When I think back now I realize she must have been quite manhandled by other children and had learned to hate us all. However as time went on and I grew up a little she started to tolerate me and then love me. In the end we had the kind of relationship where I could rider her bareback with just a halter and lead rope...no bit or saddle...and she went wherever I needed her to go and I trusted that she would keep me on her back and keep me safe, and she did.
I would go for long rides alone and would talk to her about everything. When the time came for us to move and I had to sell her I felt pretty devastated. I remember the last ride we took so clearly. I was sobbing apologies to her and feeling like my heart was so devastated. I handed her off to her new family and walked the long way home. Later after we moved I heard the family had not loved her and she had been sent off to auction but that some kind elderly man had bought her in order to retire her. It sounded too good to be true but I hoped for the best.
As time went on I went back to the island frequently to visit old friends and one day I was driving with a friend named Chris and then I think Sarah and my sister were in the car but really I dont clearly remember. All I know is we were driving on a main road (the old island highway) and we were driving about eighty kilometers an hour (and this was a good forty minutes away from my old house) and all of a sudden I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I immediately started bawling and yelling for the car to stop. Chris, bless his heart, didn't panic and did immediately stop for me trying to gently understand what the heck I was having a heart attack about. He turned the vehicle around and we headed back to the side of the highway where I had seen her. I got out of the vehicle and ran to orchard where she was.
I didn't have a clue if she would remember me....but this was the sweet moment...
She came right over to me and just nuzzled into me like she had been waiting and waiting for me to come. I couldn't stop crying and honestly it was magical. She was in a beautiful apple orchard with other horses. She was chubby and seemed so happy and at peace. It was such a gift to me...this last picture of her and this chance to see her and touch her. She had brought much comfort to me at different times and I had missed that connection with her desperately.
I never saw her again after that and that was okay...because I knew she was happy and safe and that was what my heart had needed to see and feel.
I remember this moment. I was in the car. I remember you finally getting out that you had seen shango- magic happened that day. Xo
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