The last week has been a hard one and it is too much to really talk about.
I have wished I was sailing somewhere warm and beautiful ~ that it was peaceful there and the water was that exquisite aqua color.
I have wished I was out in a meadow full of wild flowers with the blue expanse above me and bees buzzing around me.
I have wished I was sitting under a willow tree with a creek gurgling past me.
However I am here and I have been working hard to finish unpacking my house to make it feel like I am more settled and it is a safe welcoming space for me. I am getting close to being done all I can do. I think in another weeks time I will have everything unpacked and the perfect place found for each thing. After that it isn't up to me when the kitchen is done and lights are installed and trim etc. I just don't do those sorts of things and I married someone who does.
I think more excavation work is being done in my heart. Sometimes there is a break and not much is done but right now things are being dug out and remembered or grieved or set free.
So I am glad to be here but sometimes I wish I could get away for a bit.
It will all be worth it in the end. Think of how upsetting a Reno can look. The house gets gutted, taken down to its barebones in some places and just a new coat of paint is needed in others. Those gutted places look really ugly until they're finish, and then... breathtaking beauty is unveiled. You may feel gutted in some places Tans but walk through the whole house and see the beauty already revealed and know that the one who is doing the renos is the best of the best and when He's done your new places are going to be masterpieces. Xoxo
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