My Last Post for 2015

A Little Story (written for a friend)

   It all started the day she was born. She was a beautiful and sweet birdy. She had come into a family that needed her. As a young one she worked hard to make life around her sweet and although she had a strong will she wanted to please. Life at home was not always safe or happy and so as she grew up she knew that when she got older she would choose differently. Her eyes were bright and wary, yet soft. Sometimes she felt she was lost and searching and other times she felt found.  Her song was precious and feathers beautiful. When she was still young she found her life’s mate and they started life together. Each day was different. Sometimes she felt loved and sometimes she felt safe but often times were hard and stress defined a lot of moments.  She struggled to feel deep in her heart the connection that transcends words.

   She had a way about her though that drew others in. They wanted to be a part of her sweetness and draw from her beauty. They saw in her a wealth of goodness they wanted to tap into. So often her door was open to others and often they came. In herself, when she looked in the mirror, often she saw an emptiness....not that she was empty or that she had an empty life...because her life was always more than full. However she could never quite get to where she wanted to be and often she felt like she was grasping at something that was not quite in reach. She always felt a lack of some sort.

  This sweet one had a way about her that glowed. She had the strength to move mountains if she so desired. This one protected those she loved with fierceness and strength not many would have or want to give. So many things left her reeling because as time went on her heart just grew more,  her heart for her loves was immense, and her motives more thoughtful and kind, and yet she could not control those her heart wanted to protect from pain. Their pain was hers and her heart bled when they hurt themselves ~ they needed to learn to fly but she wanted to be their wings.  She had created a nest that was full of beauty and safety. She felt a deep fear that if her loved ones flew away...maybe they would not come back whole or maybe....she wasn’t even sure. So she sheltered them and snuggled them and surrounded them in sweetness and purity.  

  

  All through this little bird’s life her creator had watched her with awe. He was amazed at the capacity of love her heart carried and he celebrated all the beauty she surrounded herself with. He was ever waiting for moments when she looked up to see Him and share in His delight of her. As time went on those moments seemed to come less and her heart grew dim with sadness. The strain of her love and the stretch of her wings weighed her down so far that she could barely hold up her head as she fought for the safety of her loved ones.  She would reel sometimes and pitch and the wind would toss her to and fro. This beautiful bird, she knew that something was not right and she knew that she could not go on much longer...but she had to. Didn’t she?

  One day she stopped for a moment. Stopped in a different way than she had for a very long time. She was not collapsing because her wings were broken, she was not shot down by the wind and hurt. She just rested on the branch of one of her favorite trees. She looked down at herself and she really saw herself. In shock she stared. Her wings... They were weak, scarred, her feathers were scarce, because they had been flying and hovering so focused on the ones she loved. She had not taken time to rest, eat, preen, and she realized there would be a heavy price to pay. Her head sank low and her heart broke inside as she realized that she was not enough. That she never had been and that her love as beautiful and fierce as it was could not cover and heal all wounds.  She looked at her nest and realized that even though it was full of beauty and safety...that it was not enough.

   She realized she had forgotten how to sing. She could still sing but it was songs for others. She had not sung her own song for so long that she forgot the melody.

  In that moment something shifted inside her. 

   Something she had always known but never completely felt came and settled in her heart. It was that it was not her. It was not her job. She could not do it. She could not save her loves, she could not save the world, she could not even save herself. She started looking around frantically the old feelings of fear and failure and wanting to help, protect, nurture, heal...it all started flooding and as her eyes were frantically searching she looked up. It was just for a moment but in that moment light flooded her heart. She saw the wings of the mightiest one. She knew these wings. They were the wings of her Creator. They were the wings that nothing could defeat. They were the softest most safe place she could ever be. In an instant she stretched her own wings and just managed to find the strength to fly up into the shadow of those wings. While she was there she looked down on her nest, on her loved ones, she looked at them and realized with such clarity that they were not her own to protect, they were not her own to love and that in her fight to be everything...she had forgotten the peace and strength and safety her Creator’s wings gave her....and could also give those she loved.

   As she nestled in the shelter of those wings she realized that she needed to be there every day. She needed that rest, that peace, that comfort, every day. She needed to heal. It would take focus and it would take strength...but she had incredible focus and strength. She saw it so clearly now.  All of a sudden she felt her song flood back into her spirit. It was soft and first but then pulsed in her with a strength all its own. As it came bursting forth those below her heard it and came up to the wings and found shelter there. They flew themselves, they made the choice; and from that day on the little bird was never the same again. Her heart had found its home and her spirit had found a peace that passed all understanding. Her mind was on guard and the things she had fought with such strength to keep her loved ones safe from did not even try to come any longer because they knew defeat when they saw it. They saw the sheltering.

  As the years went by the little bird’s nest continued to be a place of refuge, beauty and purity for all who came. However it was sheltered by the shadow of wings that far surpassed any other. The little bird lived in the peace and strength those wings brought and in that she was never the same again. This peace, strength and hope was passed on to many generations , and the world around her nest grew brighter, safer and more pure.  Each day the little bird sang her song and each day she drew from the safety and comfort of the almighty wings. They brought her all she had never had and all she ever needed.

Psalm 91:4 ‘He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.’