Precious

  
   Life is precious isn't it? We so often live like we are invincible and we don't even realize it. Lately I have gone through loss and near losses that have shaken me. We only have right now. What if that could be the common thought running through my head? What if I lived like tomorrow was my last? I know this is an old and often used 'thing' people talk about and are told to do but I need to do this as often as I can and for real! Tonight I needed to snuggle one of my little sweethearts to sleep. She is feeling so sick and just could not fall asleep and as I snuggled her and stroked her hair I was thinking about my friend who thought she was losing her unborn baby today. The panic, the pain, and what this brought up for me got me thinking about how I have been feeling and acting lately. I have felt lost at sea, blown and tossed by waves, just out of it and wishing for someone to lift me up and carry me. I want to try to take each day and live like this might be the last time I get to snuggle this one or smile at this one or give to this one. It makes everything so much sweeter and so much more tangible.  
  I write to remember as I have said before and tomorrow will have challenges that right now I can't forsee but even if for a small time in that day I can capture that now moment it will be life giving and authentic and that is what I need. I am so thankful that for now sweet little baby is safe in my friend's womb. I am so thankful that I do have four children who need me and love me and find me their safe haven. I need to be leaning into my safe haven and living in the now. I hear my two year old crying so off I go to practice what I preach!