I have written a lot about the 'dark nights' in my life although not so much lately. Newly into my second year of marriage (on the anniversary of the first year of marriage actually) I started miscarrying and it turned into a long and drawn out ordeal. During this time is when the 'dark nights' started for me. This meant I would lie awake at night in utter agony ~ sometimes of soul, sometimes physically. I would steal away to the couch or the floor of the hallway to suffer, writhe in pain, cry ~ whatever it was so that I wouldn't wake my husband. I had no idea then that this was the beginning of something that I would experience night after night year after year.
After my son was born he spent years crying after dark. We would tuck him in and pray for him knowing that in about forty minutes or so he would start screaming and would be in agonizing pain. We went to doctor after doctor and did test after test but no one could say what the problem was. He also was just terrified of everything. He was consumed with fear.
Growing up my family had a lot of unexplainable happenings that seemed to come from a realm we could not see. They were unexplained, evil, and awful.
On two separate occasions my parents (once) and then my mom (once) took time to learn about the spirit realm and what was maybe happening in their lives. They shared the information with me and felt so much hope that things could be different for our family and for a time it was. Then things would go backwards and get even worse.
When my husband and I were younger and our oldest kids were quite young, we started our own journey in learning about the spiritual realm. As a child growing up my husband had had numerous encounters where he saw or could feel spirits from another realm. I did not but I was aware of the battle being waged in my family.
There are many cultures where communion with the spiritual realm is a very expected, sought after, or well understood occurrence. The culture here is very blinded to it and overall I feel that white people have written that off as hocus pocus.
Last night was another dark night for me. It is not even five in the morning here and I am awake and sitting on the couch. There was no point in going back to sleep because I was having nightmares. I rarely dream because I get too little sleep and my baby woke me up over and over last night. However I woke up to a nightmare that I knew if I went back to sleep it would keep coming back. It was worth it to get up. When I have a nightmare I know our family is under what I call, spiritual attack. There are other signs in our family that we are under spiritual attack. Once you recognize the signs they are very obvious.
For our entire marriage this has been theme ~ and for my entire life this has been a theme. So much evil trying to steal so much ~ and why? WHY? What is so threatening about US? There is a verse in the Bible that says Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but that God comes so that we can have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). This has been a common thread in my life and its' journey. I think there is a vendetta against me for having children. For continuing to have them. I am being made to suffer night after night in efforts to destroy my health and wellness. That may sound CRAZY to someone who has a. normal happy life and does not go through the things I have gone through. I would think it sounded crazy as well, but I have lived it. I live it all the time.
One of the things that is most harmed is my sleep. There have been times where no matter what I tried I would be woken hour after hour by the most random things so that I would never be really allowed to sleep. My children have been woken by pain over and over in their lives, woken by nightmares, woken by feeling evil in their room.
What is the remedy to this? What do you do?
For years my husband and I didn't really know.
Then we went through something called ~ deliverance.
It is a powerful process we went through with a pastor at our church.
We first went through our family history with him and identified what spirits may be attacking us or assigned to us based on what 'door's would have been opened in our history. So say you had a relative in the occult or you suffered sexual abuse. This would make you vulnerable to different spirits attacking you. There is also something called generational curses that are assigned to your family and handed down generation after generation. We learned about the important of breaking off soul ties with people that may have been formed through unhealthy relationships as well. It was so interesting and rang so true for us. After we had gone through extensive family history we went through the actual deliverance process. This is not really something you would want to do alone. It is very helpful to have someone who is a strong man or woman of God with a clear understanding of the spiritual realm go through this with you. It is a methodical process of a spiritual cleaning of your spiritual house. You rebuke the spirits that may be lurking and you invite the peace and healing of Jesus to come in place of any darkness and evil that has been trying to steal from you. This is something you will then do alone or as a couple through the rest of your life. As humans we sin and are not perfect and so we can 'open doors' again for evil to come in. We want to be aware of that and keep them away! If we do not they can come back stronger and more determined.
The Spiritual world consists of angels and demon and then Satan and God. Dark and light. It is made very clear in the Bible. In Ephesians 6:12 it says, 'for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, agains the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.' I have lived this and so I believe it is true. It goes on to talk about putting on spiritual armour so that we can fight effectively against this evil.
One night I remember my husband and I going to war together. My son had woken up yet again screaming in pain. We had suffered this for years and years. He was traumatized and his whole life was affected. He was not developing mentally, emotionally, or physically as he should. He was suffering. We had suffered alongside him.
I remember so clearly that I put a post on Facebook asking people to pray and people responded that they were praying alongside us. It was late at night. My husband and I put worship music on in our home, we opened our Bibles, we started walking up and down our home and started to do war in the spirit realm for our son.
This shifted something in our home. Never again could the pain and darkness come with such ease and terror. After we did this when his pain would start again ~ because it did try to come time and time again ~ we would pray in the spirit with authority and with strength and it would leave immediately. My son could finally start to live a more normal life, but his life has been altered and hurt by this pain he physically experienced for so many years. However he was able to do so much better after this.
He will suffer the consequences maybe forever because trauma does such a number on you. He is eighteen now and having a very hard time. I hope that as he grows up he will choose to fight for himself and go towards light and goodness.
In many ways it may seem easier to give in to the dark.
That is a lie! IT IS A LIE!
Fight for light, fight for truth, fight for your destiny. Not just for YOU, but for the generations that come after you.
Darkness comes every night ~ evil is there always ~ day or night.
Light always comes faithfully ~ the sun rises again and the SON, Jesus Christ, came and shed his blood so that YOU as a human being would have authority to stand your ground and fight evil. You are able to cast off your sin and shame and tell demons who have had this ability to attack you to leave in the name of Jesus.
This is the authority you have ~
You have the name of Jesus.
There is such deep power in that name.
When you feel despair, when you feel evil near, when you feel trapped in anxiety or darkness, when you KNOW that evil is gaining ground
Open up your Bible to Ephesian 6:11 and read out loud all the way till verse 18. Then open the Bible to Psalms and pray Psalm 91 over yourself. Declare that you are child of God and in the name of JESUS you take authority over any evil that is attacking you, your household, your children, your future seed, and let that darkness know that it is not welcome, that you are shutting any doors, for it to LEAVE in the name of Jesus. You can demand specific spirits to leave like anxiety or depression or fear etc.
You can take oil and anoint every opening point in your home and go to the four corners of your property and claim it in the name of Jesus. You can pray and ask for angels to guard your property and your home. You can ask for Jesus peace to fill you.
The demons come time and time again. They attack over and over. They don't give up. Their tactics don't change. They are very predictable. HOWEVER, when you know how to fight, even in your tiredness, they have to leave. As a battle worn and scarred warrioress I still mess up, I give in, I wilt. However I always rise, I always fight. I will continue to.
Satan does not want you to succeed. Please fully realize the depths of the evil. He wants you to be killed, he wants your future stolen, he wants you destroyed.
But guess what
GOD has a beautiful future for you ~ one that has Him beside you every step of the way. A future that includes love and faithfulness and sanctification and eternal life. It does not mean an easy life or a life without hardship but it is a life of triumph over evil in eternity and a life of victory over death one battle at a time.
These are my thoughts at 5:22am on a Saturday morning after another long, hard, dark night.
May God go before us, behind us, beside us. May we know our authority in Him. May we walk in victory and strength. May we not give up but take up our crosses and follow Him. It is not an easy road but it is a road that leads to victory, always to light, and to Him!
Amen
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