My oldest daughter had her birthday a few weeks ago and I keep thinking about her birth mother. When I met her she was just freshly turned fifteen and very pregnant. She was sweet but also strong and she had her own mind. She was determined to have her baby and raise her baby and so her family had put her into foster care.
There were so many moments that led up to her having her daughter in foster care and then gifting her daughter to my husband and I. We did not have our daughter move in with us until she was a year and a half old. She was with her mother for a long time.
This courageous choice was not supported by her family at all. At the court hearing her lawyer quit just as it started. She made the choice totally alone and represented herself to the judge.
Her courage and her kindness will always be one of the most heartfelt expressions of sacrifice and kindness I will experience.
It's been many years since I have seen her. The last time I saw her she was in the emergency room of a hospital I was in. She was gaunt and frail and suffering the effects of drug use. All I could do was hug her. I was with little children (not my daughter) and so I couldn't stay.
It is winter and cold out and it's Christmas time. When we first had our daughter with us her birth mother spent holidays with us. I just wish I could hug her and that she could see all her daughter has become. I hope it would help her find peace in her soul.
We all have more strength in us than we know. I hope that one day she can break free from the addictions and work through the pain. The work is so hard. For many people it is easier to stay addicted and suffering then walk forward in their pain and let it go. Freedom is never free is it and it's this continuous process of breaking off chains.
May we all walk forward choosing to fight for our freedom and may we all choose to see past ourselves and impact others for good. May we all choose courage and compassion and life. My daughter has been given everything by her birth mother and the choices she made for her daughter. It was the most courageous choice I have personally encountered in my lifetime.
I wish I could tell her thank you
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