Turning 21

  It is so late at night ~ So so late at night.

One of my daughters stays up so late reading and I remember when I used to do that as a teenager. Now I stay up late, and have stayed up late for years, because I give birth to children who are adverse to sleeping. They just don't sleep much at all! My oldest daughter, who is adopted, had a baby last year and he sleeps like a dream. She has so much time on her hands as he naps twice a day and goes to bed around 7:30pm. This has NEVER been my reality. That's not true. When I had just my oldest she napped in the afternoon, only woke up once or twice a night, and she went to bed at a godly hour. My own biological children have not done this. I have night owls who are happy to chirp and squawk and talk till about midnight every night. They sleep in till about 8am and they don't nap with any regularity.

I co sleep as well and that is just a whole other experience. I don't really recommend it actually! I feel like I have done many things that have not been the best as a parent. Getting a child to sleep and on a schedule makes for a baby who has a better regulated nervous system I think. I am not talking about sleep training or any sort of crying it out systems. I just think that a mom who has had sleep is calmer, more capable and is more healthy, and this spills over onto her children. It is a good GOOD thing. Anyway! Now onto why I am up late and wanting to write....

Today my oldest daughter turned twenty one!

I got married at twenty one. She has already been married for a year. She was always impatient to grow up and so she didn't wait for much! 

I always think about her birth mother at this time. She has been a drug addict for many years. She is the sweetest woman with a heart of gold who went through too much trauma and heartbreak to bear. I wish I could give her a hug and say thankyou so much.

This daughter of ours (her birth mother and myself) ~ she is such a loving mommy to her baby. She is a caring wife. She is an empathetic friend who has compassion and is generous. She is fun loving and adventurous. She is creative and capable of many things. She loves to cook and bake. She can crochet and knit and sew. She can play guitar and piano and she can dance. She can ride horses and teach horse riding lessons. She can sing and lead worship. She can teach Sunday school and help any friend in need. 

The beginning of her life, her time in utero, the first few years of her life, were fraught with grief and loss. She has had to fight for who she is now. She has not been alone. God has called her, fought for her and with her, and loved her well. He gifted her to me and to my husband when we were so young and had no clue what we were doing. We have learned so much from her. She is such a caring sister as well. 

I have so many memories of times she has used acts of service to bless my soul so deeply.

The ultimate gift anyone could have given me ~ I was given by her mother. 

And I am so deeply thankful that my daughter turned twenty one today. That we could sing her happy birthday while her son looked at the candles in awe. That her husband brought home most thought filled gifts. That her sisters wanted to buy her gifts and celebrate her so sweetly. I could not have imagined how my adult life could look but tonight it looked just like I wanted it to.

I could not be more grateful

xo