Glorious Sweat

Glorious Sweat. I have been trying to 'work out' lately. My brother made me a personalized ten minute work out video with everything in one minute increments. It was absolutely genius for me..And it totally killed me! The one minute thing is so wonderful...he is saying..'okay, only thirty more seconds' and I am thinking, 'surely I can do thirty more seconds!!!'(yet feeling like maybe I can't)! Yup... so perfect for me. So I started off with that but soon realized that I had separated stomach muscles and that the tread mill, that had been sitting unused on my deck for almost a year, was really upset about that fact. I needed to make up to Gloria (my treadmill) and start using her. I have been trying to do my ten minute work out video, ten minutes on the treadmill and then some exercises specifically for my separated muscles. When I use Gloria I realized that I could sort of keep track of how many calories I burn and how far I walk. Yup not many calories burned and I have yet to walk a mile. However the day I had sweat pouring off me I felt like a super star.
It's funny the way my mind has worked. At first I just worked out in my bare feet and whatever I was wearing at that moment. Next I dusted off the old runners and tried them on for size and realized I needed new socks. Then I felt like maybe I wanted to 'look' cute when I worked out. Well that dream died pretty quickly when I tried on 'cute' work out clothes. I realized you only look cute when you are the size you actually want to be and are just working out, well, I am not sure why you still are. It does get addicting right?  That's why you are still working out? I mean it better get addicting soon!!! Anyway so I dropped that dream and bought horrid shorts that I will not been seen in public in and a long shirt that sort of covers them.  All you Lulu girls...YOU look fabulous, but no brand name can fix or assist what I have going on over here!
I also was then on a hunt for a sports bra. I have not worked out in years...YEARS. I am a nursing mom so I am a little more 'endowed' than usual and usually I am not really endowed at all. So for all you ladies out there who are, 'endowed,' WOW!!!! what a challenge! Most bras I tried on were a joke and really no support at all. I needed way shorter straps, more support, and anyway I ended up with one from Old Navy.  I still dont love it, but I was not going to spend a ton of money on a bra that I wanted simply to sweat in. I will never be one of the lovely ladies that are confident to work out in only a bra and bottoms and nobody wants me to be. So that was checked off. Now I have runners AND new socks, a pair of hideous shorts, a shirt and a bra, my own personalized work out video, Gloria my treadmill, and four children who happily hamper my every attempt at movement.
 I have also realized yet again how completely hilarious and intense I look after a work out. The last time I worked out my husband said....'well you LOOK like you worked hard.' I wonder why? Would that be because I look haggard and my skin is the color of a tomato? I dont glow when I work out, I struggle to keep my shoulders back and my stomach sucked in. It's like a camel trotting or something. In highschool there was a girl who always looked like a gazelle when she ran. It was not something she tried to do. It was just natural! And when I worked at a coffee shop there was a girl who stopped by regularly after her daily 'glide'. She would comment on how many miles she had run and she was stopping by for her triple thick caramel frappachino.  She looked like Claire Danes, this dear one, and she was tall and she literally just glowed when she worked out. When she ran it looked like she was gliding and glowing and managing to look like life was pleasant and beautiful and inspiring as she ran. When I run I am exhausted after about thirty seconds and so I am buckled down using pure mind over matter. My face is scarily flushed, I am heaving, and no matter how in shape I get I don't see that changing. I just don't have the glorious sweat genes. I don't hold it against the ones that do. I am happy for them. Sort of... 
So we'll see where this working out phase takes me. So far I think I am gaining weight because I am even MORE hungry with the nursing and the working out. However I feel like I am stronger and right now strength is what I need. If you are in a 'working out phase' I wish you well. Also if you are one of the chosen who glows when she sweats ~ get out there and light up the world. I wont resent you for a second! I'll just be on my covered deck on Gloria where I am hoping to work at least a quarter of my ass off and where I feel at my best. Really though, even though I am more a camel than a gazelle when I work out and look more like a tomato then a rose...the fact that I am working out, that I have the energy, and care about myself enough to do this, is all the glorious needed. May you love yourself enough to get your glorious on in whatever way, shape or form that looks like. xo